


Blue Waters

by TwilaStar



Series: Dystopian au [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Action suspense, Big Bang, Delusions, M/M, Romance, be productive to society or else, big bang 19, controlling government, drugs au, government tyranny, hxhbb, hxhbb19, i guess???? I dont know my current readers seem in suspense for them, keeping it surreal, ok maybe a little horror, take your joy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-05-16 13:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19319146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilaStar/pseuds/TwilaStar
Summary: The water’s blue, swallow the pill; keeping it surreal… a pill Gon forgot to swallow one morning. Off the pill, everything around Gon seems to lose it’s glow, and things are obviously not as great as the government wants everyone to think it is. But now the government is on to Gon’s defiance and threatens him to continue taking it. And why is the city surrounded by high walls or blue waters? Soon, Killua and Gon find out there are darker secrets surrounding the city of Heaven Heights and this pill then the government will let on. Altered Reality AU, song by Frank Ocean. Drug based. Inspired by We Happy Few by Compulsion games.For HXHBB19





	1. The water’s blue, swallow the pill

**Author's Note:**

> Its about the disillusions of it all.
> 
> OMG It's been so long since I've published a story, I almost forgot how to. Straight out the AU factory, please enjoy dystopian au. It will be a little slow in the beginning and pick up later, so thank you to everyone who reads past set up!
> 
> For the Hunter x Hunter Big Bang 2019

Blue Waters 

Chapter 1

_The best song wasn’t the single,_

_But you weren’t either_

_Livin’ in Ladera Heights,_

_The Black Beverly Hills_

**_Domesticated paradise, palm trees and pools,_ **

**_The water’s blue, swallow the pill_ **

* * *

Gon Freeces woke up, his copper eyes a bit hazy as the familiar wake up song rings throughout his small one story apartment. The same way it was playing in every residential one story apartment in the city. It echoed off his furniture and around the walls of the house as the early morning sun snaked in through the open windows to bathe the place in a golden hue. It fell straight onto Gon’s face in the bedroom to wake him up.

_~Good morning! Good morning! Morning announcements!_

‘ _It is a sunny day, the temperature a warm 80 degrees! Great day for the beautiful beaches we have here in Heaven Heights!’_

_~Good morning! Good morning! Morning announcements!_

‘ _Remember to take your pills. The water’s blue, the food is great, your living arrangements are always clean, it’s great here in sunny Heaven Heights! There’s no place better!’_

_~Good morning! Good morning! Morning…!_

Gon smiled at the announcements as they repeated. _80 today? I should go to the beach, the surf should be fantastic. I might even be able to get in the tube a couple times,_ He thought as he got up, one leg onto the ground then the other. Gon grabbed the headboard when he felt a wave of dizziness overcome him but it passed so quickly, it barely phased him.

“Whew!” Gon breathed as he shook his head out and got his bearings back. He went to his window and closed the curtains to reduce the amount of sun glaring in his apartment as he did every morning.

“Alright, the pills.” Gon’s sleep laced voice said, looking left and right on his bedside dresser for the slim white bottle filled with blue pills before spotting it where it is every morning-- on a small blue-white coaster. He poured one out and then went to the bathroom adjoining his bedroom for a glass of water. The water came out in a clear waterfall of blue.

Gon swallowed the pill.

The rest of his morning routine was an unclear, hazy blur as he moved with the motion of practiced muscle memory and relaxing bleeding colors. His mind felt at ease and nothing in the world could bring his mood down. The next thing Gon recalls doing is exiting his one story apartment building. He looked down and saw he’s wearing clothes-- his usual city required blue jumpsuit with a bold white strip along the seams.

 _Well, I can’t be forgetting anything important_. Gon thought and decided he’s ready to go. He finishes locking up and skips down the steps, the sun shining brilliantly and the grass a vibrant green. He walked down the street lined with palm trees, greeting everyone that walks by while feeling the warm breeze across his face, waving at the city officials that drive the cars.

They always look so grumpy, Gon hopes his smile can brighten their day.

* * *

 

Gon walked by the subway entrance on his way to work. He never needs to take the subway to get to work, his work building is within walking distance of his apartment. Which was apart of the great city policy -- along with city assistance to make sure everyone who lives in Heaven’s Heights has a job. Just another wonderful aspect of living in this wonderful city. No one was jobless.

Gon arrived at the Car Manufacturing building-- his place of work. The large light gray building was a very welcoming and familiar sight to Gon. He loved his job fixing or making cars for the city, the smell of white hot metal and breaker fluid was all so soothing to Gon. Although there weren’t a lot of cars in the city… he wonders where the cars he helps make or fix go sometimes... but it didn’t matter, it was a service to the city and he’ll do what he’s asked for where he calls home. He didn’t have to think about that as a citizen… think about… he’s already forgetten what he was thinking about. Wasn’t important.

Inside, he finds his boss, Bisky, with a hard hat on and a clipboard in her hand, looking right at home. She made sure everyone knew their job for the day and everyone was where they were suppose to so that the factory can work smoothly and provide value to the city. He went up to her and gave her a nod in greeting, excited to see where he will be assigned to work that day.

“Morning Bisky!” He chirped with a bright smile.

“Hello Gon!” She says, her features brightening after spotting him. The shorter woman looked down at the clipboard in hand and Gon tries to look down at the clipboard as well to decipher it from the top.

“Do I get to…?!” He asked in anticipation. She laughs a light snorting laugh.

“You’re in luck, Freeces. Today, you get to work in the repair detail-“

“Whooo!” Gon cheered, fists in the air. He wouldn’t mind doing anything in The Facture, a cool nickname all the workers came up for their workplace, but he does have his favorite divisions. Repairing cars are one. He likes to make up stories of how certain cracks or dents ended up on the car. Totaled cars are fun because after Gon makes up the story, he gets to drive it to the demolition detail and watch them crush it up into a cube. It’s so cool. He could see that if he was on demolition detail too, but it would become boring and repetitive if that was his shift for the whole day. With repair, it varies from car to car.

“Go change up and remember both your hard hat, safety goggles, and gloves and get to work.” She smiled then walked off.

Gon nodded and practically ran to the timecard room to clock in and change. He put on his looser, gray jumpsuit uniform worn from work, grabbed his safety goggles, gloves and hard hat, then ran out of the timecard/locker room and to the back courtyard of The Facture to start working the line, walking through the rows of cars that needed repairing to get a general feel of how many that need to be done.

A few minutes later, he heard a voice ring out mischievously from behind him while he was making his way through the lines, “No way, you got Repair too?”

He spun around and smiled easily.

“Killua!” He chirped and goes to meet his white haired friend halfway. They slap hands a bit in greeting as Killua secures his hard hat over his fluffy white hair. Gon was friends with almost everyone in The Facture and Killua was one of them. Gon talks to some more than others, and Killua was one of them, so he’s happy Killua was in repair with him. Gon will have a better day now!

“You must have been super excited to get repair detail. Thank goodness I got it the same day you did. Now I can take it easy…!” He says with a cat grin, hands behind his head. Gon pouted.

“Killua! That’s not fair! You should work as hard as everyone else!” Killua gaped at him playfully.

“Seriously? It’s not like it’s my choice not to work as hard! It’s you!”

“Me?”

“Yea! You always work so hard and so fast, it barely gives any of us any work to do! If we’re not fast enough on a car, you’ll come over like ‘Ooh, I’m Gon~ are you having trouble? What part of the car? This one? Lemme see-‘ and then you take it off our hands. You go nuts when you get to work on repair.” Killua said, crossing his arms over his chest. Gon rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“Sorry…! You guys look like you have trouble!”

“Nope, you’re just too good at it.”

“I-"

The whistle to start the work day blows from the top of The Facture and Killua nudged Gon.

“Let’s go, work-a-holic. Time for work.” Gon whined the whole way to the line then fell right into work.

\--**--

“Which one?” Gon whined.

“That one- how can you not see? You must be blind.” Killua huffed, getting frustrated. “Stop looking, she’s looking over.” He said, turning his blushing gaze down at his sandwich in front of him that he’s having for lunch. Gon huffed but looked down at his salad.

“Just describe her a little more to me. Or maybe tell me her name, I might know her already.” Gon said, poking at his salad, pretending to be interested in eating it.

“You don’t, she works in administration.” Killua cut off short. He slightly raised his spoon and looked into the reflection. “Ok.” He turned back around and Gon set his gaze into the lunch crowd.

“She has dark hair and green eyes. There, with the short hair. She’s talking to Dean and she has a gold earring on the ear closest to us.” Gon finally spotted her and his eyes lit up. She looked good, the blue and white jumpsuit fitted her so well.

“I see her! You’re right, I don’t know her. And you think she wants to go to Emerald Hills with you?” Gon asked, looking away to look at Killua who had already turned away.

“I dunno. I think so. She seems interested, but that’s always a tricky thing with girls. That can be so annoying sometimes. But she’s cute…” Killua said the last part with a blush, picking at his napkin next to his sandwich. Gon’s smile widened.

“Oooh! So cute! Ah, Killua’s so cute! Oh, your baby would look so cute! Oh, oh, can I be the uncle-?!” Killua slapped a hand over Gon’s mouth.

“Would you shut it, idiot?! People are starting to stare! And that’s not how it works, you have to be my brother to be my baby’s uncle-“

“No, Killua, no, I wanna be the uncle, I’ll keep being loud til I’m the uncle-!!” Gon cried, prying Killua’s hand from his mouth and keeping it away with small slaps. Killua just kept getting redder.

“Ok, ok!” He cried, his voice getting a pitch higher from his stress. “You can be the uncle!”

“Yay!” Gon cried. He settled his head on his upturned hands propped up by his elbows as Killua buried his face in his hands. “You know, I think it’s really funny when you’re voice gets real high like that when you’re, like, 20 already.” Gon teased. Gon bit his lip to keep from crying out when he felt a sharp pain attack his shin from under the table.

“You’re asking for it, Freeces!” Killua growled, looking up from his hands, a sharp smirk on his lips and recedingly red face.

“ow-wowowow-ow-ow!” Gon whined, pulling his shin up and rubbing it soothingly.

“I think it’s so funny when you whine like a baby when you’re basically, like, 20.” Killua said, mocking Gon’s chipper tone of voice. Gon gave him a light glare before they both shared a laugh.

“Who are you thinking about bringing to the Emerald Hills, Gon?” Killua asked after a bite of his sandwich.

“I dunno! I don’t know what I’m looking for…” He muttered. “Maybe I’ll find someone worth looking at while I’m at the beach. I’m going after work today. Want to come?” Gon asked, a hopeful lithe to his voice.

“Nah, not today. Maybe tomorrow.” Killua replied then took another bite.

“Wah…” Gon whined. He was planning on going alone, but now that he was supposed to be looking for someone to bring to the Emerald Hills, he didn’t want to go alone. “ok, we can go tomorrow.”

Killua lifted an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. Lunch ended soon after with the sound of the whistle on top of The Facture.


	2. Whatever feels good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? A consistent posting schedule? Longer, consistent chapters? No! In this economy? Haha, you're crazy. Thank you so much for reading and for leaving kudos, I haven't felt so excited to write in a while and big bang is a blessing and so inspiring.

Chapter 2

**_Keepin’ it surreal, whatever you like_ **

**_Whatever feels good, whatever takes you mountain high_ **

_ Keepin’ it surreal, not sugar free-free _

_ My TV ain’t HD, that’s too real _

_ Grapevine, mango, peaches, and limes _

_ The sweet life _

* * *

 

Gon waved at Killua as they started walking separate ways. Gon called over to Killua as the other man turned away in reminder, “Don’t forget to take your pill!” 

Killua gave a careless wave of his hand over his shoulder and a confirmed grunt without a look back. Gon walked backwards, watching Killua’s back for a moment, then turned around, a small smile on his face. 

Gon was a little upset-- he had a plan for today, it was going to be a good day that ended with relaxation on the beach. Well, technically he was still going to go to the beach tomorrow, with Killua, and that was good… Made it better, even. But while he was there, he should be focusing on finding someone attractive to bring to Emerald Heights, get a kid with or something like other normal people his age would be focusing on. 

It made it seem so much more stressful now… He didn’t want to think about that sort of thing right now. Even Killua had someone he was getting ready to take there. That thought had him feeling exceptionally sad. Maybe because his best friend and closest peer was leaving him behind in the dust as Gon couldn’t keep up with life’s to-do list.

“Ah, I shouldn’t let this keep me down...” Gon muttered as he walked by a radio broadcasting tower with a steady stream of transmission coming in (‘ _ The water’s blue, the food is great, your living arrangements are always clean, it’s great here in sunny Heaven Heights! There’s no place better! Curfew is at 8 pm, but while you are unwinding from work, why not try the new  _ Heaven’s Expression _ cocktail at Tim’s! The water’s blue, the food is great, your living arrangements are always…) _ .

“I should grab some moodswingers while I’m out to lift up my spirits.” Gon muttered as he eyed the signs of the storefronts he was passing. He walked into a colorful store with pills displayed at the store front window like a candy store with different flavors and colors.

Gon gave a polite nod at the store manager who was standing dutifully behind the counter of the establishment and a smile to the others in the store, who smiled back like other happy citizens. Gon began walking down a random isle, browsing for the certain pills he wanted that night. Gon walked purposefully down towards the isle closer to the end of the store and was reading the small directory at the start of the long hall to make sure he got the right place. 

_ Moodswingers, trippies, party flowers, cloud nines _ . Gon smiled, and knew he was in the right place. He scanned the section of mood swingers and went to the ‘happy’-- passing by ‘sexy,’ ‘fearless,’ and stopping before ‘agreeable.’

Gon browsed the flavors and grabbed a couple more then he’d need for stock and to have a flavor he’ll be in the mood for later. Mango, peach, lime, whatever. He might even mix a couple of them into a cocktail for himself. Some of these are flavors for a margarita, right? He tried to make pleasant conversation with the store manager behind the counter (she looked sort of cute, he could imagine their baby would be cute together), but she seemed to want less to do with him when she saw what he was buying: Help to get happy. That only made Gon feel worse. He didn’t like judgmental people like that. Some people abuse these drugs, popping them like they can’t produce a single serotonin on their own, withdrawing badly without it and ruining people’s mood around them if they’re not alone when they run out.

But their intended use was for those that had a bad day and want to be genuinely happy again. Those hippies just give others who buy the pills a bad rep.

He walked the rest of the way home, passing the subway again. A golden retriever puppy came out and around, jumping around Gon’s ankles. Gon gave a small smile to the puppy, and stopped briefly to card his hand through it’s shiny coat of soft golden fur.

“Aw, aren’t you cute… but I’m sorry, I’m not in the mood to play right now. Get home safe, ok?” He muttered before moving on. A government official drove by slow in their truck, watching the puppy and Gon for a moment. Gon gave his best smile and wave, but they just drove off. Geez, it seemed like everything was gray and sad right now…

Gon got home, closing the door behind him and locking up. He let out a heavy sigh and put the pills he just bought out on the table. He went to the room to undress, ready to unwind the day away with some good-feels, sugary drugs.

“Oh, but I can’t forget to take  _ the _ pill.” Gon smiled, picking up the pill bottle that was still on the blue coaster since that morning when he took them, humming to the evening song on the radio with reminders interjected between the lyrics to take the pills.

Gon took the pills into his hands to prepare to take later. As he looked over the colorful flavored pills he picked up, musing which one to take, he shrugged, and decided to just put all the flavors of moodswingers together in a big cocktail, hoping they taste good enough as a combination. And the pills should work together to make him feel happier faster and for a longer time, right? He poured them in his grinder, forming them into a powder to mix with his syrupy sweetener and crystal blue waters. There were many ways to consume the pills, from plain old swallowing, to mixing into food. Mixed cocktails were the city’s favorite, with many establishments sporting featured drinks mixed with different pills and drugs.

Before Gon drank his made cocktail, he downed his city pills. He turned on his TV to watch while sipping and enjoying the feeling of the drink seep into his blood and senses, making a happy fog around his mind. Gon smiled distractedly at the fuzzy images on his screen, the bright colors alone making him feel better and light. He doesn’t know what it is, but he doesn’t have to for it to give his senses a happy feeling addition to his trip. 

Gon didn’t remember that he left the water filled glass by his radio after he took the pills. Gon moved lazily and as he liked with the motion of whatever was filling the screen and with his happy thoughts. The hazy movements that were a side effect from the city pills caused him to knock it over, and although Gon drunkenly picked it up, he felt no rush or urgency to clean it, some of it leaking and sparking into the radio.

Gon sang along with the TV programs, his mood mountain high, he couldn’t even remember what was bothering him in the first place. What a great way to unwind, Heaven’s Heights was a great place to be. Gon barely even noticed the distorted noises the radio was making after the water had spilled onto it. Three cocktail cups later, and Gon was smiling happily into the atmosphere at nothing in particular as he lounged on the couch, his eyes slipping shut to sleep for the night.

The sweet life...


	3. The sweet life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I only felt a little bad that the last chapter was so short, so here is another one. And don't tell me I've already been posting daily.

Chapter 3

_ The Sweet life, sweet life, Sweet life _

_ The sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet life. _

_ Sweet life, the sweet life _

_ Sweetie pie _

* * *

 

Oscillating noises of distortion spilled from the radio as golden hue of sunlight entered the living room through the blinds.

_ Goo- ...ning! Goo-… ning! Morning--...ments! _

The song was fuzzy and low as the mechanisms inside the machine were unable to work properly.

_ Warm…!... Day for the beac-….! Great here at Heav-…! Take your pills…! _

Gon rubbed roughly at his eyes, the sunlight streaming into his window from outside and onto his form on the couch.

“Ow...” He whimpered, the sun a stinging bright light. Shouldn’t those blinds be closed? Right, he needs to close them. 

He sat up, and looked around, his surroundings a reminder of what happened last night. A cup on the lamp table by the end of the couch with the remnants of a fruity drink was standing, leftover syrup pooling at the bottom of the slightly curved cup. The TV was on, low noise on some channel where a monkey was dancing with bananas, a really trippy sight when Gon looked long enough. Gon squinted… And not nearly a clear enough image, it was so fuzzy.

It made him want to daze out, watch this hypnotically dancing monkey for a while longer… but then he suddenly realizes with a start that he has no idea what time it was and he was definitely not woken up by the radio. He looks back to where it is with alarm, straining his ears to listen to what was happening; only to hear a muted version of the morning wake up song.

He jumped up and checked the time, feeling cold dread grip his heart at the time.

“I’m late for work!” He dashed off to his room. He didn’t have time to shower. He entered his room and stalled, mind blanking for moment.

“W… where’s my clothes again?” He muttered, and like a key word after saying the word ‘clothes,’ he remembered they were in the closet, rushing to open it and seeing layer after hanger of cloned copies of the jumpsuit they wear every day. He changes out of yesterdays, dirty from walking and his drinking, and into a crisp clean one.

He shoved on his boots on, blowing stray fringes of his hair away from his eyes. He passed over to his dresser that was mounted with a mirror, and scanned his eyes over the dresser countertop contents looking for a comb. When he looked up into the mirror, he gasped slightly with shock.

Gon felt like he hasn’t seen himself in ages. He had a vague idea of how he appeared, but seeing all the specific details of his face, from the round wide nose to the thick, nicely groomed eyebrows. He looked pretty… handsome. His eyebrows furrowed, something nagging in the back of his mind stemming from the fact he doesn’t remember the last time he looked in the mirror honestly, or the gaps in his memory he keeps finding.

He spotted the comb upright against the mirror and grabbed it, combing his hair back into straight obedience and put some powder around his neck. Why, he doesn’t remember, he was just following muscle memory to get out the door the quickest way possible. He scrambled around, keeping a lookout to see if anything else pops out at him as imperative to take care of, but seeing nothing, he ran out the door and off to get to work.

His eyes constricted at the sunlight, and he stumbled slightly in his run to work. He stopped, rubbing at his eyes, then looked around to get his bearings. He gasped at the familiar surroundings that looked nothing like Gon remembered. 

The streets usually welcoming with muted colors were dirty with foot traffic and rain run off dried away. Buildings Gon never noticed the detail on were chipped and cracked like some bad part of town. But Gon remembered them as buildings in pristine condition, built with pride as buildings he passed by every day to work. This was a part of town he considered to be the better part... Not like he remembered there ever being a  _ bad part of town…  _ All of Heaven’s Heights was an amazing place to be… although Gon doesn't even remember any part of town outside his usual hangouts and routes. How big was this city? Did he ever explore all of it?

There were not many people out and about at the moment, Gon figures by the angle of the sun in the sky that most people are probably already at work. But those that were still out on the streets had these weird smiles on their faces, eyes unfocused like they are all thinking of something far in the future or past. No one looked  _ present. _

They walked with enough purpose that they didn’t look like zombies, but Gon feels everything else-- from their little attention to focus to the slight drag in their feet-- was zombie like. He swallowed, feeling a little unnerved by these observations.

_ What was happening? _

He moved, trying to stay out of people’s way, unsure if they would even see him if he were to stand in place. He looked around trying to make sure he was heading the right way for work, hearing a perpetual buzzing in the air, someone speaking but Gon couldn’t pick it up completely.

“Oh, right, the puppy is here...” Gon muttered as he heard scuttling around the corner of the entrance to the subway. The golden puppy came around the corner and running to Gon, barking happily. Gon smiled, happy to see one thing still--… Wait…

As it came closer, the puppy revealed to be an actual grown dog, so thin and malnourished, it didn’t grow very much. It’s fur was matted down with dirt and grit, and there was a crazy look in it’s eyes, like maybe it was too feral for help. Gon was startled with how the dog was still dashing at him. But it didn’t hurt him yesterday, will it still hurt him today?

“H-hey...” Gon tried on one of those distant looking smiles, but he could feel his skin pinprick and crawl with fear and anticipation. He bent, and extended a shaky hand to pet the dog. The dog did stop by Gon’s feet and put it’s muzzle in Gon’s palm. Gon let out a breath of relief but when the dog found no food in Gon’s hand, it opened his mouth to bite Gon. Gon yelped out with surprise, moving his hand away with a speed he probably wouldn’t have without fear to induce it. Gon stood to his full height, backing up slightly from the dog that approached with careful steps of hostility, growling.

Gon almost choked on another cry of surprise when someone jumped down next to him. Gon looked around and saw one of those government trucks had pulled up beside him and one of the men inside with the frowns had jumped out. This man’s frown was a lot deeper than he remembered it was. His wrinkles Gon never noticed before deep on his forehead and cheeks, bags under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in days or had a load of stress. His eyebrows were set in mean furrows, looking much more intimidating than the man who drove in the cars who Gon always just thought needed a hug.

The man took a stick with a loop on the end and pulled it tight around the dog’s neck until it let out a chock and couldn’t let out another noise. Gon gasped at the cruelty, his eyebrows pointed up in concern until the man turned to face him with mean eyes. Gon looked back in shock, not knowing what to do. This close, the man also looked dirty, like he was out in a black soot sand storm or worked on a coal engine train, adding to the scary look of the man.

“Don’t worry about this puppy. We just found it’s owner. You can go back on your way now, and remember there’s no place better than Heaven’s Heights.” He muttered like a tape recorder. Gon’s eyes widened as something inside Gon triggered. He could almost see the world flashing before his eyes, alternating between the bright happy world he’s used to seeing --to this shockingly real world, with details too vivid for his brain to absorb at once. He blinked rapidly, trying to get the sudden spinning and nausea to stop. He could immediately hear from all angles, every light post set on every corner, streaming out of the very air and into Gon’s mind, the static words, the perpetual static, he couldn’t make out before become distinct and clear, place being broadcasted at all times.

_ The water’s blue, the food is great, your living arrangements are always clean, it’s great here in sunny Heaven Heights! There’s no place better! _

_ There’s no place better! _

_ There’s no place better! _

“Hey!” The man barked into Gon’s face, breaking him out of his shocked daze, a skeptical and interrogating expression on his face. Gon jumped, a cold sweat broke out over his skin. What did he do? What does he know? Why is this happening now?

“Did you take your pills this morning?” He asked lowly, and almost… threateningly. Gon pressed his mouth into a thin line and he could feel his jaw working.  _ No, he didn’t. _ Something kicked in within Gon he didn’t know was there, and wasn’t exactly sure why it did.

“Yes...” Gon breathed, doing his best to put on an unfocused smile and look droopy. “I always take my pills. Now, I really should get going… my friend is waiting for me at...” Gon’s mind flickered on and off like an old lightbulb in an historical building. “Tim’s...” Gon breathed, happy something came out. He carefully edged around the man still scrutinizing him.

“I… bye…!” He figured less was more at this point and tried to keep his body moving at a normal speed until he could turn the closest corner and then ran off. Gon’s heart was beating way faster than he thought it had in forever. The government man picked the dog up and pricked it with a needle he pulled from his sleeve. Once the dog became subdued in seconds, the man rounded the truck to the drivers side and picked up the dashboard radio comms.

“This is unit HH405. We may have someone off the pill. Keep a lookout from Gon Freeces.”

\---***---

Gon panted as he collapsed against the wall of a building off the mainroad. He looked around him and around corners to make sure he wasn’t being followed. He looked up and around for anything that looked like cameras, but the only thing that he could spot were those poles on the corner of every street broadcasting that mind gunk everywhere.

“What is this…?” Gon asked, watching as people walked down the main street, barely giving each other any mind and only sometimes calling out greetings to others, sounding distracted but lively. And also dirtier than Gon remembered… Even the alleyway he was hiding in looked like it was left to rot with brown puddles and grime along the walls of the back buildings.

A giant shadow passed over the street above Gon, and Gon looked up watching thick, nearly black clouds drift across the sky that was usually only bright blue and cloudless. The sky was a sickly green blue with lots of clouds of worrying colors.

“This is...” Gon gasped out, trying to take it all in, his eyes darting around at what he thought was his normal life.

_ Heaven’s Height! Your very own paradise! There’s no better place to be!  _ A nearby pole rang out as Gon stared at it with critical eyes.


	4. The starshine always kept you warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like I'm updating daily for now, I have nothing better to do. Thanks to rhythmxecho for commenting on my stories so far and I appreciate all the kudos!

Chapter 4

_ You’ve had a landscaper and housekeeper since you were born, _

**_The starshine always kept you warm,_ **

**_So why see the world, when you’ve got the beach_ **

**_Don’t know why see the world, when you’ve got the beach,_ **

**_The sweet life._ **

* * *

 

“Dude!” Gon jumped at the sound of the familiar voice. He was walking distractedly, staring in awe at the things he saw along the way to work, observing and comparing the state of things from what he was used to seeing in his past life, and the seemingly distorted and deteriorated new reality in front of him. 

The voice brought Gon back to the situation at hand and he felt guarded to turn from his cautious surveying of his surroundings. Gon almost felt like everything would disappear in a moment like a dream, his mind did not know how to process all this information.

To hear the familiar voice of his best friend and the image his mind associated with it clashed with the vision he saw in front of him- too sweet and aesthetic to actually be what he may be faced with. He was scared to turn to his friend and see what would actually be waiting for him. But he had to eventually, he needed to act as normal as possible to avoid unwanted attention and that meant not  _ ignoring close friends _ . He turned as normally as he could and Gon nearly did a double take at what he saw.

“What the heck, you’re never late for work! You almost made me eat lunch alone.” Killua complained. Gon could only stare for a moment, taking in the form in front of him… was Killua always this beautiful? 

Out of everything that Gon has seen anew after forgetting his pill, this was probably the only thing that grew better looking from the reality he knew. It was like a veil was in front of Gon’s eyes before, preventing him from seeing how pretty his friend was, muting the looks that he obviously had. 

His fluffy hair was sticking out weirdly, probably from having worn the work helmet all morning, only to have taken it off now for lunch. It was a little dirty from dust particles in the air, but Killua probably didn’t even notice while being on the pill. But it didn’t make him look any worse. His hair framed his face, it’s angle contoured like art, and smudges on his face from where he would wipe his face in between working, and it made him look adorable. The dark sky behind them made his eyes pop, the blue of his eyes the only reminiscence of how the artificial sky looked before, and Gon felt like he could get lost looking in them.

“I… w- sorry, sorry Killua...” Gon eventually was able to get out when Killua’s face grew angrier at Gon’s lack of response. Killua’s face relaxed when he finally replied and he sighed out, the most normal thing in Gon’s life since he woke up this morning.

“That’s it? You’re not even gonna tell me what happened or why you’re late?” Killua asked, putting a hand on his hip.

“Er, I overslept.” Gon said honestly. He found himself trusting and easing into communicating with Killua instantly, Gon holding onto the comfort of familiarity Killua held for him. He didn’t see a reason to hide anything from him. Killua raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

“Your alarm didn’t go off this morning?” Killua asked, unimpressed. Gon found Killua’s movements to be nearly a beat off, too slow to not be under the influence everyone else was in, but Gon also saw something sharp in the way he moved, like he was just a bit more alert than everyone else around them. Even when Gon spared a quick glance at those trying to get lunch in the Fracture’s open space cafeteria showed the others moved like it was the daily grind with no reason in life. Gon suddenly really wanted Killua to be off the pill with him.Whatever was happening, he figured he could solve it better with Killua. He thinks whatever is happening isn’t right and Killua shouldn’t be affected by this when Gon could help him.

“No, I… I think it might be a little broken.” Gon said and Gon could watch how Killua’s expression melded into one of remorse, step by step.

“Oh, man… I’m sorry, hopefully you could get that fixed, Gon.” He said, carefully offering Gon a smile. Gon smiled back instantly at seeing that kind expression. His smile was pretty too, and it was his first time seeing it with such clarity. His lips looked soft too. Gon blushed a bit at realizing what he was thinking about, but before he could say anything into his self created awkward atmosphere, Killua motioned for him to follow to get food. Gon shrugged and followed without much thought. They got their food, Gon getting the salad and Killua getting a sandwich wrap, and sat at their regular spot, someplace that received plenty of sunlight when the sky was clear.

“Anyway, I talked to Alise yesterday… the girl I want to take to Emerald Hills?” Killua said as a reminder. Gon stopped chewing halfway, as like another key word, the memory of the place filled his mind. Emerald Hills was where two sexually interested people went to have sex because there was no sense of husband and wife, or any sort of commitment as a home life. The next best thing was bringing someone you deemed to be a good partner (and can probably make a pretty baby with you) to this place to have sex. After you had sex and genes and personal information was entered, the couple could then customize your baby on a screen from the color of their eyes to what skills they should be adept to later in life. Gon’s chest filled with ice at the thought that Killua was going somewhere to have sex with someone else--no, not… not someone  _ else,  _ just someone...

“Did she say yes?” Gon asked, trying to play off nonchalant. Killua flushed and Gon thought it was a pretty shade on him.

“I didn’t...ask her. I was too nervous. We just talked and I found out her name. Maybe I’ll ask today.” Killua shrugged looking around for her. Gon was able to spot her easily, and she looked as dull as everyone else. Killua deserved someone much more interesting and dynamic than someone who fell into line with everyone else when this drugged up.

“Are we still going to the beach today?” Gon asked suddenly instead. Killua looked over, and Gon could see in his crystal eyes his thoughts working. He quirked a smile before taking a bite of his sandwich.

“Of course, Gon.” He chewed before he made a face. He took out a thin packet from his pocket and ripped it open about to pour it over the meal. Gon grabbed his wrist with little thought.

“What are you doing?” Gon asked. Killua looked shocked that Gon stopped him.

“I’m adding sweetener to this. I can’t eat something this bland.” Killua said, like it was obvious. Gon eyed the contents of the packet, clear syrupy liquid starting to ooze out. And if Gon knows anything about this world anymore, is that almost everything was a drug, anything to make people feel good. And Gon didn’t really want Killua to be drugged up anymore.

“Try salt.” Gon said, looking up into those pretty blues. Killua scrunched his nose, but before Killua could say anything in reply, Gon looked around the table for the salt. He had to pick up a few packets to read and confirm, unfamiliar with the colors, before opening salt and pouring small amounts into Killua’s wrap. “Try it now.”

Killua gave him a look but picked it up and bit into it. His eyes sparked with something and he ate the rest of the meal pretty content. Gon counted it as a win.

\---***---

“I’ve been meaning to go to the beach since the radio had said it was good weather for it!” Killua said, walking in step with Gon to get to the beach. Gon decided to let Killua take the lead since his mind was blanking on how to get to the beach. But with every turn and street, every road was just as familiar to him like he always knew how to get there.

“Yea...” Gon muttered, looking around thoughtfully. How was it that the weather was an always cool, breezy 80 degrees anyways? He got his answer when he heard a relatively loud humming whirl. When Gon looked up to investigate the sound, large industrial looking fans laid on top of the taller buildings. They were obviously strategically placed there because no one would look that high and notice. It was obvious they controlled and altered the climate for the city. Gon was really very curious on how the rest of the city looked like with his new perspective-- what cheats, hacks, and artificial components did they put around the city to make sure everything was ‘perfect’? Who would do it, and why? Would Killua come with him?

Then they were turning the corner, and both their hair caught the beach’s breeze. Gon gasped out at the sight. The whole thing was an artificial beach, but it was a gorgeous one. The waters were amazingly sparking and slightly artificial looking blue, the beach ‘weather’ was perfect.

There were wave makers off in the distance, the whole place maybe a mile in length and half a mile out to the very obvious painted wall to create the perspective of the ocean horizon. Killua and Gon were on a board walk type structure above the beach and there were multiple steps down to the sandy ground where many people already were, different colored towels spread out on the sand, some under umbrellas. There was a faint scent of seafood and fruity drinks in the breeze and there were poles sticking out the sand spouting the mind gunk. Gon’s head felt like it was spinning again at the words and his face soured. He was starting to hate those words.

“Ah, I love the beach!” Killua said, closing his eyes and tilting his head up to breath in the smell. Gon looked over at him and was again surprised at how good he looked. The relaxed look on his face made his features look youthful, and how old were they again? Old enough to drink at least… but he doesn’t remember seeing a lot of kids… or old folk either. That was a little unnerving as well. Killua opened his piercing blue eyes, the ocean in his orbs the only ones Gon really wanted to swim in. Gon grinned back as well and nodded.

“I love the beach too.”

“Sometimes, I think its all I need. I’ll work day and night, just give me a weekend to go to the beach.” He laughed freely and Gon nodded, not really listening. He was excited to be here with Killua.

They got down the steps and onto the sand and Gon followed Killua to a small rounded square machine where he swiped his hand under an indicator and a towel like the others at the beach had was dispensed out the machine. Killua turned back and handed him the randomly colored towel and Gon thanked him as Killua waved his hand under for another one.

“Do you want to get an umbrella too?” Killua asked, facing him and pointing him towards a similar but longer and shorter machine.

“Ah, no, that’s ok! I’m probably going to be in the water the whole time anyways.” Gon told him and Killua grinned back, excited.

“Right? Let’s find a spot and lets hit the beach!” He cried and ran off. Gon ran after him, laughing. Killua really was different than the others around him. Even Gon just sprinting with Killua to an empty spot on the beach before a large chubby guy could take it, like running around a still life forest- it was something surreal like Killua and him were the only two in the world really living at the moment. Gon watched the fluff of Killua’s white hair bounce teasingly in front of him as he led the way, and Gon wondered what it would be like to run his hand through it. Once they had their towels down, they didn’t return to them much.

They took off their jumpsuits to wear just their under trunks and they started with a sprinting race to get to the ocean. Gon quickly figured out, with Killua under this drugged state, Gon had no competition, so he let Killua win, and only had to stand adorable taunting and gloating from his best friend. 

They dived beneath the surface of the water and watched the artificial waves wash over the white sands underneath like wind storms and splashed at each other for playful games of nothingness. Gon fell on his butt in the water after an especially disorienting attack from Killua and looked up and caught his breath at the sight of Killua. His hair was sticking to the sides of his face and his cheeks and chest was flushed from exertion, his eyes were crescents in a laugh and the his eyes sparkled, catching the reflecting light from the ocean. He was gorgeous.

“Wah….” Gon breathed, awe-struck for a moment. His cheeks flushed when he caught himself in the thoughts. He really liked Killua like that? He never thought he would like guys, his whole life it was expected and obvious he should be with a girl. He can’t bring Killua somewhere like Emerald Hills… Could he?

Gon shook his head at the embarrassing thought. That’s not how things work here in Heaven’s Heights! His head spun a bit as his mind suddenly tuned into the words spilling into air. Crazy subliminal messaging…

“Gon, get it together. I’ve been trying to show you my best manta ray swim!” Killua called from his mostly submerged position in the water. Gon blinked, coming back to focus on who he came with. He was about to miss that? Goodness, he needed to pay attention.

“Ah, sorry Killua, show me again!” He said, getting up to his side. Killua turned his head, playfully.

“Maybe I don’t want to!” He said. Gon scoffed a laugh.

“If you show me, I’ll show you my jellyfish swim?” Gon asked. Killua looked at him with an intrigued raised eyebrow.

“I doubt it’s any good.” Killua challenged as not to get tricked.

“Wha- I bet it’s better than this ‘manta swim’” Gon said with quotation fingers.

“What’d you say? I’ll show you!” Killua cried. And they both flailed in the water trying to be animals they didn’t really even know how they looked.

\---***---

Gon rubbed the back of his neck as he walked beside Killua back to the corner of where they usually parted. He didn’t really want the day to end, so they could keep doing fun stuff together… but there was always tomorrow. Right… tomorrow…

“Mmmh, today was fun… And I think we get to work on the repair detail again! This is looking to be a great week!” Killua said. “I’ll see you then, and don’t be late again!” He said, poking Gon’s chest. “Your housekeeper should have fixed your radio by now.”

“Wait, Killlua.” Gon said, taking Killua’s hand that lingered druggedly-slow by his chest. Killua turned back to Gon, looking down at their joined hands with a strange look in his eyes and then up at Gon. “I...” He licked his lip quickly before looking at the street post with those speakers. Gon quickly shuffled them into the space between two buildings and out of open sight. Killua was confused as to what Gon was doing, and a little alarmed, but this was his friend. He wouldn’t do anything weird… he trusted him as much as the officers that patrol the city and keep it safe and clean. 

“When you get home… don’t take your pill.” He whispered to Killua. Gon was close enough to see the gorgeous flecks of blue and purple in his eyes and see the starlight eyelashes on the man. His eyebrows furrowed, slow to recognize what Gon was saying.

“Don’t… take the city pills? The ones we’re suppose to be taking every morning and night?” He asked, looking Gon over and his eyes flashed with sudden recognition and Gon was surprised something so sharp and focused could have occurred in someone so drugged. “You haven’t been taking your pills, it’s why you been acting so weir-” He started but Gon shushed him and put a hand up to his lips.

“I just… forgot this morning, but ever since I stopped, I’ve been noticing some strange things going on. I think the pills are the cause of something that makes people act… half conscious. Something is suspicious, so I…. think it’d be best if you didn’t take yours either. So… will you trust me?” He asked, looking imploringly at Killua. Killua listened carefully with furrowed eyebrows. He sighed a beat after Gon finished.

“This is… crazy! The pills are supposed to help us. Bad things could happen if we don’t take them… but… you didn’t and aren’t completely crazy, so… I’ll try.” Killua eventually gave in. Gon smiled joyous that he was willing. “But only for one day! I’m not trying to get sick or something from missing my days.” Killua told Gon, sternly.

“Ok, one day, alright, that’s all I need. Really remember not to take it, its routine so...” He hummed and finally realized he was still holding Killua’s hand and let go with a slight blush. Killua dragged his eyes down Gon’s arm down to where they weren’t holding hands anymore and looked a bit sad, or maybe Gon wanted to think Killua looked sad.

“Allright… I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” Killua said, they exited the space where they were hidden and Gon watched Killua walk down the street and Gon sighed. He turned to go to his place and went in. 

His place was spotless as though he never made a giant, alcoholic and druggy mess the night before, and he could hear, his radio was back on, spewing the Heaven’s Heights propaganda in time with the speakers outside on the streets on a soft volume.

Gon changed into his nightwear, locating it after a couple minutes of searching and climbed into bed. His mind was racing with thoughts on the pill, the guards weird behavior, the weird setting they were in and …

“Killua...” Gon breathed, his body feeling warm and tingly just thinking about his gorgeous friend that day. Gon doesn’t know why he wasn’t aware he liked Killua but it was so obvious now… he went to sleep with all this on his mind.


	5. You're catching that breeze til you're dead in the grave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, my chapters are getting longer? Wild. Thanks to losing_sanity_fast for also reviewing as well! They make me happy!

Chapter 5

_ The best song wasn’t a single, _

**_But you couldn’t turn the radio down._ **

**_Satellite needs a receiver, can’t seem to turn the signal fully off_ **

**_Transmitting the waves_ **

**_You’re catching that breeze til you’re_ **

**_Dead in the grave._ **

* * *

 

Morning light streamed into the room, warming Gon’s bronze skin as it stretched from Gon’s yawn. He was awaken by a combination of the light in his room and the radio singing it’s nonsense song as the morning alarm. 

He furrowed his eyebrows before peaking his eyes open and grimacing from the light blinding him. He groaned and sat up, holding his head… Why did it feel like he was swimming? It took effort to stay upright and not just fall right back down. He was better after a moment, but his mind was still struggling to keep up with the stimulus around him.

This light was hurting the back of his eyes, like it was reflecting off metals and into his face, he was much too sensitive to light right now. He got up staggering to close the blinds. He just needed some quiet to recuperate… Gon blinked when he noticed the blinds of his neighbors across from his window were still open.

Gon didn’t remember much from when he was on the pill, but he did know his bedroom window faced his neighbor’s house, and that it was usually closed every morning by the time Gon closes his own. That meant his neighbor closed the blinds earlier than him… so why was it still open today? His ears pitched and Gon whined, closing the blinds, not able to worry about that right now. He turned the knob of his built in radio in one swift motion to lower the volume. He breathed out a sigh of relief in that brief moment of peace and quiet. He could feel the inide of his skull finally reach a state of coherent thoughts as he ran a hand through his hair and looked around the room to ground himself more.

He turned and went to the door of his bathroom and reached for the knob to go inside, but he paused when he heard the impossibly small noisein the silence.

_ ~Good morning! Good morning! Morning announcements! _

‘ _ It is a sunny day, the temperature a perfect 78 degrees! Great day for a trip to Emerald Hills with that special one here in Heaven Heights!’ _

_ What…? I just turned that off. _ Gon marched back to the radio as if he could intimidate it to doing what he wanted and crouched in front of it. He didn’t even have to strain his ears, at this distance he could hear the noises still coming out of the radio very well. It made his vision dance. Gon tsked and grabbed hold of the knob to the radio and tried to change the frequency to catch any other transmission. He got static and indistinguishable mutters between the same message which was relayed over all the channels whose signals he was able to catch. Gon gave a tired and frustrated huff at that, annoyed with the constant and repetitive dribble.

There’s no way to turn this off or change the channel. This was the only and constant exposure they could get, just endless propaganda of how great it was here in this city... 

That reminded Gon, he wanted to do more exploring. Something unsettled him about what was happening around the city, but he won’t know the full story without investigating it himself. He’s sure none of the government workers will tell him if he asked.No, the best time for looking around is now while no one is alerted of his awareness.

Gon stood to his full height. He’ll have to ignore the noises, he had to get ready to go to work. Gon also wondered how Killua was doing, if he would do the odd request Gon asked of him. The thought of Killua brightened him up. Gon couldn’t wait to see Killua again. 

Gon left soon after he started getting ready, squinting against the light of the sun sending rays through the tinted sky, but heading to work the way he always knew how. He made sure to walk slower and have a dazed look on his face whenever he was around those grumpy and mean looking government workers.

They didn’t give him much mind.

\---***---

The light of the sun travelled across the empty room of Gon’s apartment as time went on, his bed still undone from when he first crawled out. It about afternoon when the doors to his apartment opened and a small, older woman came in. She wore a baggy gray jumpsuit and an apron around her waist. She was pulling in a cleaning cart behind her filled with many cleaning items like brooms, mops, sprays and wipes. She put a facemask on to cover her mouth from the fumes and got to cleaning. 

She patted out and made Gon’s bed and broomed his floors. She broomed and mopped his bathroom, and cleaned the tile surfaces like the showers and toilets. She went to the kitchen and cleaned any dishes he made and the surfaces in there before brooming and mopping. She dusted and arranged the living room and lastly returned back to Gon’s room. She took his jumpsuit he wore the day before and the sleeping clothes he also slept in and put it in her cart. She replaced them with newly pressed clothes, putting the day jump suit on the hangers in the closet then the sleeping clothes in the drawers. She went and put the radio back up to an audible volume and made sure it was still in working order, remembering this was the house unit with the malfunctioning radio. Then, she picked up the pill bottle from it’s blue coaster to refill. She paused as she heard the rattling inside. She poured the contents of the bottle out and her eyes widened to see there was still 2 in there.

She frowned before she pulled out a walkie talkie from her apron. “This is Mariah, in house unit 405 of Gon Freeces. He did not take his pills. I repeat, he did not take his pills.” She glared down at the pills as her walkie came to life with multiple people trying to give instructions and directions at the same time on what should be done.

\---***---

Gon got to the Facture and looked around for Killua. Gon spotted him and knew instantly that Killua didn’t take the pill as Gon asked.

Killua was looking around like he’s never actually seen any of this before. Gon beamed and made his way over. He knew Killua would be disoriented, but Gon will help him through it now that he’s more accustomed to it. When Killua looked over and saw Gon on his way, Gon’s smile faltered. Killua looked at him with wide eyes like he didn’t remember him. Did not taking the pill do something to his memory? He couldn’t help the rush of panic that washed over him as he picked up the pace a little more and went over to Killua. What if the pills actually were suppose to help them, and he ruined his best friend by asking him not to?

“K-Killua…” Gon said with a hesitant but friendly smile. He frowned when Killua just averted his gaze, his ears turning red. “Are you ok? Do you feel sick?” Gon asked.

“Something like that…” Killua muttered under his breath.

“Huh?” Gon asked, leaning forward a bit to hear him. Killua cleared his throat and took half a step back before looking up to meet Gon’s gaze.

“Nothing! I’m fine, I’m just… really surprised! This looks nothing like how I remember… I don’t completely understand… the pill did this? Gon-“ Killua started, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Ok, ok…” Gon started in a soothing voice. Gon looked around for anyone looking at them weirdly. “I can’t explain it all  _ right now _ , but just… lets get to work like usual for now, ok? We’re on repair detail. Our favorite.” Gon said, trying to be comforting with his voice and eyes. Killua pressed his lips together, his eyes still having a foggy look to them. But he nodded nonetheless.

\---***---

“And that’s everything I know from since I forgot to take the pill.” Gon told Killua as they ate lunch alone together. Killua nodded, carefully eating half of his wrap as he listened to Gon.

“But I don’t understand… why keep everyone under some disillusioning drug…?” Killua hummed to himself. Gon shrugged.

“I’m not exactly sure myself, but I was going to go look around town today. I was hoping to find more answers while no one knows we’re off the pill. It should make more sense while we’re off it too...” Gon smiled at a thought that crossed his mind. “And who knows, it might be fun, seeing new sights together.” He said, and wanted to take Killua’s hand. He blushed a bit as he didn’t bother holding back his impulse and took his hand under the table.

Killua jumped a little, his cheeks coloring at the contact. He looked down at the table that was hiding their intertwined hands.

“I mean… of course I’ll go with you… two heads are better than one to figure out what the heck is going on anyways.” Killua muttered and Gon couldn’t hold down the grin on his face.

“Nice, so we’re in this together.” He said and gave one last squeeze to their joined hands.

Travelling around town after work was more nerve racking and hair raising then they thought. They both had the sense to pretend to be druggedly walking and talking around those government men who were riding around with big frowns on their faces. Every corner they turned led to a street that looked nearly identical to the ones they’ve left behind. Gon would have sworn they would be getting lost if it wasn’t for Killua who promised he was keeping track of where they were heading.

Gon probably shouldn’t 100% trust a recently drugged person, but how could he not? It was Killua, and Gon always trusted Killua even back when his memory was a foggy mess. Geez, he could remember his last 3 days in more vivid memory than his whole life.

As they moved, the most prominent unusual thing found around them was how the whole city was surrounded by high walls or blue waters. The walls were painted like the blue sky Killua and Gon were used to remembering, but looking straight up still revealed green tinged sky and dark clouds. And if there were not high walls, it was blue waters that stretched out to the wall which was poorly painted for an illusion of large stretches of ocean. But Gon supposed under their drugged state, anyone would take that as fact there was a large ocean there. It was like every corner of the city was made to make the impressionable people on the pill think they were in some sort of paradise, but it was obvious it was more like a prison keeping them in. What was happening?

“Gon, I don’t like the looks of this. There’s literally no where anyone can leave the city. It’s like we’re all prisoners here… but what did we do?” Killua speculated. Gon shook his head, taking Killua’s hand as they made their way back to the city block with their apartments.

“I’m not sure Killua… but I doubt we’re… trapped here. But there definitely is something weird…” Gon said as they passed a street pole talking about how great it was in Heaven’s heights. Gon let out a breath as Killua shook his head, the words making him dizzy. “But we’ll be ok… we have each other after all.” Gon smiled with a head tilt. Killua smiled when he met his eyes, his cheeks coloring again. Gon was starting to pick up Killua liked him… but Gon didn’t want to do anything that might scare Killua off.

“I’m sure everything is fine and there’s a reason for things being like this. Like, I’m sure if we just look a little more carefully, we could see there are exits.” Gon said. Killua let out a breath through his nose.

“Right… sure.” Killua said unconvinced. Gon stopped by his apartment and turned to Killua to bid him goodnight, or maybe he could walk him to his place. But Gon paused at the look on Killua’s face. He looked surprised and thoughtful.

“Gon, I’m your neighbor?” Killua asked, turning to face him. Gon blinked and looked over at his building.

“What-?”

Killua pointed to the apartment building right next door. The building who’s occupant didn’t close their blinds this morning. They didn’t do it when they usually did every morning because Killua was off the pill and was too disoriented to remember to do it…! They were neighbors this whole time and they never even noticed? Man, this pill really did things to people.

Killua and Gon looked over at each other and they giggled together. The reason why, they weren’t exactly sure but it just seemed appropriate to laugh, the situation comical.

“Um, so… did you want to come over for a drink…?” Killua asked with red cheeks, and Gon’s pretty sure it’s not from the laughing. He felt his own cheeks warm as he smiled, and did something he never remembered doing. He followed his friend home for a visit.

* * *

 

Gon wasn’t sure who moved first… what exactly shifted the atmosphere into this heated air around them. Killua’s house was a lot like his, if not just arranged about the square footage differently and the furniture in different places.

Killua made them drinks with as little drugs as possible as not to go under some influence they were not aware of. They sat on the couch next to each other, knees touching as they were nearly rotated to face each other. They kept the TV off and kept talking over the low sounds of the radio’s propaganda, and it was like they were on a talk show Gon vaguely remembers watching at times. They talked about everything and nothing, scouring their brains to just make the other laugh, smile, keep their attention…

And an arm moved forward during a quiet moment, maybe to put the drink down, but eyes locked, and the front of their jumpsuit was grabbed.

Gon and Killua locked their lips, pushing and pulling, and Gon felt like he could breath for the first time, kissing Killua like this. He felt like his senses were awoken, and he’s never been so hyper aware of a moment. Killua’s hand grasping at the back of his shirt needily, Gon’s arm running up the back of Killua’s leg as he laid him on his back on the couch, every thump of his heart in his ears, how  _ warm _ everything feels. Gon felt like he was on drugs again, but it was all Killua.

Killua let out a throaty moan when Gon removed his lips from the kiss and Gon’s stomache coiled tightly. Gon let out a small growl, wanting to hear more of those noises from Killua. They need more space. He hoisted Killua up in his arms, feeling like Killua weighed next to nothing and Killua let out a surprised gasp, blinking his eyes open to see what was happening and reorient himself. But Gon closed their lips together again and Killua’s eyes closed, putting his hands up into Gon’s hair and around his neck. Gon shivered feeling Killua’s lithe cool fingers on his scalp, and never knew he needed anything so badly. He took him to the bedroom, not even bothering to turn on the light in the dark room, knowing his way to the bed like it was his own room. He put Killua down on his back as he kissed him more fiercely, more deeply. Killua opened his mouth slightly to let out another moan, and maybe to breath, Gon doesn’t know, he doesn’t think- he doesn't need anything right now but  _ Killua _ , so he sticks his tongue into his mouth, just doing what feels right.

He figured this was a good choice, because Killua let out a loud moan, fighting Gon’s tongue with his own. Gon gripped at his waist, lost in the noises Killua was making, they were so beautiful and loud, and  _ all his _ \--

The sound of a pothole clattering outside Killua’s window shocked both of them, and Heaven’s Heights propaganda grew louder on top of a speaker of those government car as it drove slowly by. Killua and Gon panted and looked towards the window, Killua gripped Gon’s front while Gon held himself above Killua with his arms on either side of him. They watched the light of the car roll across Killua’s window, the blinds not closed. They watched the light travel across and away and Gon could hear Killua hold his breath until the lights left and the voices faded. They both let out a small breath and breathed a bit easier. They looked towards each other, feeling the moment passed.

“I...” Gon started, his voice feeling raw in his throat and it sounding just as raw. He swallowed. “I should probably get back to my place...” He said quieter. Killua swallowed, his eyes searching Gon’s. He finally nodded.

“Ok. I’ll see you tomorrow…?” He asked, a small fear at the back of his eyes. Gon grinned, and pecked him. When he pulled back, he was met with a surprised look on Killua’s face, but no sign of insecurity in those gorgeous eyes.

“Of course. Good night, Killua. Don’t take your pill.” He said, mimicking the way the man on the radio had always said ‘Don’t forget to take your pill.’ Killua scoffed out a light laugh and sat up with Gon’s movements to get off him. Gon already felt colder not pressed to Killua’s side… Wow, how was he going to sleep tonight with the thoughts of Killua all over him? He thought about taking the front door, but then-

“Can I go through your window? Mine’s right there, and it’s feels better than going out to the street when it’s past curfew.” Gon said with a small gesture towards the window. Killua nodded. “Of course. Now that I know we’re neighbors, feel free to sneak in that way whenever.” Killua smiled, a hand in the air trying to pass off airy ease. Gon smiled back, feeling his heart thump in his chest like it was full of air. Gon cleared his throat and opened the window carefully then thought for a second and doubled back. Killua looked up at the sight of Gon coming back and barely formed a question before Gon swallowed his words with a kiss. Killua let out a small moan and chased the kiss when Gon pulled back, a little dazed. Gon grinned happily, he hoped Killua would only ever look this way because of him, and not some dulling drug.

“Ok, good night for real.” He chirped and went back to the window, slipping out and closing it while looking back at Killua inside with a toothy grin who was trying his best to glare at him with a blush. Gon went to his window and shimmied it open and slipped inside too. He got ready for bed and slipped inside, feeling comfortable, and the feelings of Killua still lingering on his skin kept him warm.

…

_ KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! _

Gon startled awake, sitting up in bed. His heart raced at the unfamiliar and sudden stimulus while he was sleeping. What was that? Did something fall?

_ KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! _

Gon jumped as he heard the noise again, recognizing that as the front door. Someone was at his door? What time was it? A glance at his window and he could see it was still night outside. He climbed out of bed, his limb still heavy and clumsy with sleep and he stumbled to the door. He opened it without a second thought and nearly gasped at the sight of smiling government officials. They were cleaner than the ones that usually drove the vans around, and they were actually smiling… a bit too widely for his comfort, and much too widely for the time of night.

“Hello, Gon Freeces.”

“Ah, hi…?” Gon said, unsure what was happening, but he couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his gut.

“We care about our citizens here in Heaven’s Heights. So we wanted to personally make sure you were taking your pills every morning and night.” He said, the two guys behind him folding their hands together in agreement. It wasn’t a very threatening motion, but Gon felt intimidated by the sight and gulped.

“We are sure you just forgot to take it, and we’re sure you’ve been experiencing some weird events while off the pill. There is no need for panic or alarm. Just remember to take the pill and you will barely remember what it was that was so bizarre. Here in Heaven’s heights. There is no need for anything outside your usual routine. Anything and everything you might need is provided, so please, as well, do not go to other districts as well. Everything provided is for your happiness and convenience.” They said. Gon nodded hesitantly. The government was watching him more closely than he thought. He resisted the urge to look over to Killua’s apartment. He should act normal now and check in with him in the morning.

“Also, we hope for your sake, that while off the pill, you did not try to tell anyone your experiences or actions that may cause them to get off the pill as well. We are trying to keep an orderly city and we cannot fulfill our duty with multiple people off the pill.” He said with a creepy smile and Gon tensed.  _ For his sake? _ Did they know about Killua? Was that a threat?

“Rememeber, there’s no place better than Heaven’s heights. Beautiful weather and blue waters. There’s no place better.”

Gon felt like his brain shut off for a moment before restarting and the government officials were already leaving by the time he regained awareness. What was that? He almost felt a compulsive need to take the pill, a wash of relief over him at the thought. He shook his head to snap out of that. Gon knows now that they know he was off the pill, and he could feel some of their passive aggressiveness to get him to get back on it. But the question was did they know Killua was off the pill? He sucked in a breath and swallowed his worry. He’ll talk to him tomorrow. 

he’s starting to feel like this place is more dangerous than he thought. Maybe they  _ were _ all trapped here… he’ll have to tell Killua what happened and get his stance on this. Gon closed the door carefully and went back to bed, not really feeling like sleep yet. The drone of the radio was what ultimately got him to get to sleep.


	6. Live and Die in the Life

Chapter 6

_ But you’re keeping it surreal, whatever you like _

_ Whatever feels good, whatever takes you mountain high _

_ Keepin’ it surreal, not sugar free, my TV ain’t HD, that’s too real. _

_ Grapevines, Mango, Peaches, and Limes. _

_ A sweet life. _

_ - _

_ A sweet life, _

_ A sweet life, yeah, _

_ A sweet life, sweet life, _

_ A sweet life, _

**_Live and Die in the life._ **

* * *

 

Waking up the next day was like a punch to the gut. Gon thought he’s gonna be sick as he rolls over to get his face off the edge of the bed. His wave of nausea passed soon enough and Gon sat up, feeling like his head was hot. Was he getting sick? 

Gon shook his head out and tried to get the ticking in his ears to stop. He froze as he realized that ticking wasn’t in his head and coming from his window. He looked over, feeling his body tense in a fight or flight response, getting defensive. He saw shadows flit by the frame and Gon carefully climbed out of bed to get a better view of what was happening at his window. His hand slowly reached for his lamp as a make shift weapon of whatever threat was at his window. The view he could see from his window increased as he climbed closer and let out a breath as he saw that it was Killua, looking away from the window towards the streets, trying to keep a critical eye out for anyone that might see him. Gon went to the window and popped it open for him, and Killua jumped in surprise before breathing out.

“Don’t scare me like that!” Killua said. He was wearing his day jump suit already, form fitting in a way that indicated everyone’s clothes were tailored made for the intended individual.

“Me? You’re the one creeping around my window like a ghost!” Gon shot back.

“Would you have rather I knocked, looking like a weirdo to those on the street that looked over?” Killua said, swinging his legs over past the window threshold.

“These people are pretty drugged, they wouldn’t have spared a second glance.” Gon said, taking Killua’s hand to help him inside.

“Whatever, you didn’t have to move so suddenly.” Killua said, standing upright in front of Gon.

“Maybe you just move too slow.” Gon said with an eyebrow flick. Killua’s eyes darted over his face. His movements have gotten so much sharper and aware since he came off the pills, and Gon can only help but notice every time that Killua was within range that his eyes are a beautiful color, something Gon could have never appreciated if he stayed on the pill. Gon felt the pull as Killua moved forward and they met in the middle to kiss the other, Killua moving them backwards to the bed.

Gon let out a sigh,  _ geez what was I missing all my life? Kissing was great, well scratch that, kissing  _ Killua _ was great _ . They fell back and made out for a moment longer before Killua remembered what he was coming over for and popped his head up from the kiss, making Gon whine.

“We’re gonna be late for work...” Killua panted, looking over Gon’s face. Gon huffed to catch his breath.

“You came to walk me to work?” Gon asked.

“No, I came here to tell you to take a pill.” Killua said. Gon’s eyes widened and his memory of last night came flooding back. Did they talk to Killua too?

“To take- wh- But we know they mess with our head...” Gon started, feeling a little panicked.

“No, not… take it. Take one out. Have you ever noticed how many pills are in your bottle?” Killua asked, getting up and going to Gon’s dressed, to his blue coaster pill bottle. Gon frowned, not sure what Killua was getting at. Killua took and opened it, pouring out all the contents. Then Gon understood a little more.

“There’s only two.” Gon said, blinking wide eyed at the two small but impactful light blue pills swaying on their axis on the surface of the coaster.

“Do you think there would be anymore than two in here at one time? I don’t think so, we only need one in the morning and one at night. When they refill it, I think it’s when we’re at work. But If they come to refill it, and there is still two, it is much too obvious and easy to notice when you didn’t take your pill.” Killua said. Gon let out a breath,  _ that’s how they knew I was off the pill, it was never enough just acting the part outside the house _ .

“Wow, you’re so smart, Killua!” Gon beamed, turning his gaze to the white haired man. Killua blushed a bit bashfully, looking away.

“This wasn’t… it’s just simple problem solving. To avoid suspicion and detection, we should take one,” Killua said, picking up both pills and carefully depositing one back inside the bottle. “And keep it with us through the day until we find a good way to dispose of it later.” Killua finished, capping Gon’s bottle. Gon nodded. This was a great idea. Now the government men can’t say Gon hasn’t taken it if he’s both acting like he has and there’s a pill missing every morning.

“We should also put a wet cup next to the pills! I know I usually get a cup of water to drink it with and leave it there.” Gon said, jumping up and going to the bathroom. “It’ll sell it more that we actually drank it than just an isolated hint of a missing pill.” Gon said from the bathroom as he got a glass and wet the inside. On the way back to the dresser and Killua, he put his mouth to the rim and put it by the pill bottle.

“Nice thinking.” Killlua said, smiling as he watched Gon move. “Also, I’m sure any detail we’re on at the facture will give us an opportunity to dispose of the pills.It’s all constructions and crushing.” Killua said as he went to go back to his window. “I’m going to put a cup by my pills too, then I’ll head to work.” Killua said, easing his legs out.

“Wait!” Gon said, going to the window. Killua looked up with a quizzical look but Gon closed in with the next second, ducking past the window threshold and gave him a kiss. Killua sighed as he closed his eyes, his mind blanking and forgetting what he was doing. Gon pulled away and Killua looked back at him with lidded dazed eyes and Gon smiled at how cute Killua was being. Killua blinked and blushed more deeply after being caught unaware and so affected, stuttering something before closing the window and jumping into his open window with ease.

Gon sighed happily. If he could just have Killua, then he wouldn’t mind living this weird life with these high painted walls of blue and strange colored sky.

Gon turned to get ready for the day and left for work. He was hoping to walk to work with Killua but as he leisurely observed his surroundings to avoid suspicion, Gon noticed no one was conscious enough to interact with someone longer than a brief greeting, let alone walk along by each other in the mornings. He knows he walked with Killua to the beach and to their street corner, so Gon found himself anticipating the end of the workday to be able to walk with Killua then.

He got the work and the pretty lady…. Bisky! That was her name, greeted him. Her usually shining blonde hair was matted and messily braided back… Gon had been half grimacing as he looked over her sorry appearance when she looked back up at him and Gon smiled back brightly, remembering to be the happy go lucky guy they knew him to be. How much of reality did these pills alter to make everything look just perfect?

For a moment, he wondered why he wasn’t trying to get more people off the pill. It’s not like he hated these people or think Killua deserved to be helped more, but Gon figured he had to be smart about this. He couldn’t get to everyone and tell them to get off the pill, it would be suspicious and point all fingers at him. Plus, as one of the higher ups, Gon’s not sure how loyal Bisky was to the government and tattle on him, or how willing everyone was to start taking the pill. Heck, Gon might have been, but he doesn’t remember that long ago, and seeing the state of things now, Gon thinks something went wrong along the way. He rather not volunteer for it now. And he shouldn’t rattle the other’s fragile reality.

Bisky detailed Gon to scavenging detail. The government vehicles that were totaled and brought in needed to be looked through to find anything important that might have been left inside by the government officers that turned it in so that it wouldn’t be destroyed in the demolition detail.

Gon let out a breath. That shouldn’t be too difficult to discard the pills while on this detail. He can tuck it away in a cup holder or something, then when the cars are demolished, so will the pill. And at least no one can trace it back to it being Gon’s.

So all day, Gon was ducking in and out of cars, finding things out of place or out of the ordinary to take out. These things would be gathered into boxes, turned in to Bisky where she would then mail it off to government central for them to handle and redistribute back to the government workers that forgot it.

Gon was actually getting more and more intrigued with the things he found as he looked through the cars and as the day went on. He always loved repair detail because, for the vehicles that weren’t too destroyed, Gon made stories on what happened to them, on what caused them to end up like this. But the things he found in these cars were actually giving him more concrete details and stories on to what most likely actually happened. For one thing, the government cars that ride through the city are too clean and don’t do anything that could cause them to be these same cars that are turned in, destroyed.

He’s sure those that are on the pill are much too happy and lost in their mind to realize what these things actually are and piece them together, but Gon is actually finding interesting pieces here. Gon finds walkie talkies inside, mud plastered ID cards to the point he can’t even make out the full name of who the government employee it belongs to, but there is a barcode there. He finds small cylinders of some kind of metal, like a small torpedo with powder on it like soot.

He thinks some of these things are interesting and Killua might want to see so he pockets a few of the smaller items like the walkie talkies. Gon’s sure no one will really miss these, Gon could just as easily might have just overlooked them while all loopy on his pill.

He gets a little better understanding of what the government workers actually do all day. They certainly don’t just drive around town all day. It ticked something off in the back of his head, something important.

By lunch time, Gon feels a bit exhausted. He didn’t know climbing in and out of cars would be so physically taxing. But he knows seeing Killua again will be the perfect pick-me-up.

Gon lit up happily once he spotted his beautiful bae across the cafeteria. He tried his best not to run to Killua as he maneuvers the slow reacting people. Killua also looked tired but once he spotted Gon making his way over, he grinned. Killua looked like a beaming beauty that drowned out everything else around them, enticing him with his smile.

Gon went in for the kiss but Killua held his hand up, glancing from the corner of his eye to a camera off to the side of the open courtyard that Gon never noticed before and Gon was snapped back to reality, remembering he couldn’t kiss Killua openly.

“Sorry…” Gon said sheepishly, taking a step back. “I’m not thinking straight, I’ve been pretty tired these days and I guess it’s getting to me.” Gon said. Killua nodded understandingly, walking slowly with him to the line. _ Killua is much better at keeping facades up than me _ , Gon thought as he moved slower too.

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty tired too. I feel like my body’s gonna be sore but I was just on inventory duty. What were you doing?” Killua asked him.

“Scavenging. I have some things to show you.” Gon said. Killua furrowed his eyebrows.

“From scavenging? Gon, you’re suppose to turn those things in.” Killua said, eyebrows furrowing in a mix of worry and irritation.

“I know, but who will know we took them?” Gon asked with a shrug and a carefree grin.

“Just… be careful on what you take, you know the government is on to us…” Killua muttered as he picked up his usual sandwich. Gon frowned a bit as he took his sandwich too from the lunch line. He would feel better if they knew where the food was coming from, but they can’t avoid everything the government provides. They sat at their usual table.

“Right. I’ll be more careful. But I think it shows us the things the government workers actually do around here. Here, should I show you now or wait until after work?” Gon asked, leaning closer to Killua to keep his voice down.

“After work, It will be easier to pack it up in a bag and go somewhere unassuming on our own afterwards.” Killua said. Gon nodded.

“Then for now, I’m going to my locker to put it away.” He said, getting up again.

“Ok.” Killua said, eating as usual.

The work day winded down with business as usual, Gon not bothering to keep anything else. He naturally went to meet with Killua and they walked down to the lockers, talking about a topic the people next to them were talking about. Gon glanced over at a co worker as he walked out with Killua. There was something weird about his arm. The co worker swung his arm out as he began to walk and Gon was hit with a wave of nausea and dizziness as he saw the man had a gash on his arm.

_ Too real _ , his mind supplied unhelpfully as he was shocked into pausing and leaning against a wall. His vision was soon filled with fluttering hands, Killua taking a hold of Gon to try and get him to stand up right.

That person didn’t even know they were bleeding badly because he was so drugged up. There was something wrong going on, that they don’t even know when they got an injury at work.

And the people around them. They were all so drugged up, they were in ignorant bliss to any harm, injury, or wounds on other people as well. Gon felt like this was the first time he’s ever seen something so gruesome in detail and it was like being hit by a bat to the back of his head. A crash from any high he might have had left from the pill.

“..on! Gon! Answer me, dammit!” Killua’s voice finally reached Gon’s ears as a ringing stopped.

“Kil… sorry...” He breathed as he let his eyes closed.

“Are you ok…?” Killua asked him, cupping his face. The framing warmth sent a tingle through his body and down to his finger tips. He smiled as he opened his eyes to take in Killua. Killua looked even more vivid and in focus now, Gon can make out his freckles and small scars, probably from work related injuries. He looked as breathtaking as ever.

“I feel better now that you’re touching me so nicely.” Gon smiled. Killua flushed and Gon grinned even further. Killua let go of him and Gon gathered his bearings well enough to stand by his side.

“What happened?” Killua asked as they walked again. “I was really worried you were gonna be sick or something.”

“Me too. You didn’t see that man’s arm?” Gon asked Killua. Killua’s eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head slowly.

“No… What about it?” He asked. Gon let out a sharp sigh. There was no reason to tell Killua. He didn’t see it and probably doesn’t need the description, just…

“Those pills hide a lot more things from right before our eyes than we thought just to keep us dumb and happy.” Gon said. Killua frowned over at Gon before looking back forward.

They got to a small eatery with wide grinning people, aprons on straight and clean. It was unnerving, the illusions put on around them of happiness and perfection. They asked for a corner booth and the blonde man who was waiting them frowned a bit before putting on his winning smile again.

“Of course sirs!” He said and didn’t say anything else as he spun on his heel and led them to the back. Gon and Killua sat down and waited until the waiter left to talk. Gon took out the walkie talkies and employer ID and other smaller items Gon pocketed.

“So, these items, I think if we can figure out what they’re used for, they can tell us more about what the government workers do. Then we might understand a little better what’s going on around here.” Gon said. Killua nodded, as he looked over the walkie talkie with a focused look. Gon opened his mouth to say something but paused as he just took in Killua’s features. Gon smiled shyly and hooked his feet with Killua. Killua jumped a bit before looking at Gon with a small blush.

“Wha-?”

“This is sort of like a date, huh?” Gon said, interrupting Killua. Killua paused with his mouth open mid-word but it snapped shut with a deep blush.

“Sh-shut up! Don’t say such weird things. That’s something between girls and guys.” Killua hissed quietly. Gon tilted his head but kept smiling.

“Well, it’s something girls and guys do when they like each other. Don’t we like each other?” Gon asked. Killua blushed deeper, looking off to the left of the table. There was no point in denying that, they made out twice already. And Killua doesn't remember much while on the pill, but he doesn't think he’s felt this way about someone before.

“Well, people usually ask others on a date, hn? You didn’t ask me and I didn’t ask you.” Killua countered, trying to rationalize something. Gon made an o face.

“You’re right.” Gon said. Killua smiled, satisfied. He looked back down at the device but Gon spoke again.

“Killua, will you go on a date with me?”

Killua’s heart stuttered and he looked up at Gon, his eyes wide. Gon smiled wider. Killua was so gorgeous all the time, and Gon can get him to make so many faces and expressions, Gon loves watching his face change. Killua’s head lowered a bit, shyly.

“I-I mean… Well...” Killua’s chest filled, feeling like he was being blown up with air. The thought of Gon made him happy, and why shouldn’t he try to keep more of that around? “Yea, ok, Gon! Geez…!” He laughed and Gon cheered playfully, propping his head up on his palms with his elbows on the table, shamelessly looking over at Killua. Killua just gave him a knowing smile and looked back down, deciding to ignore Gon for now.

\---***---

The next couple days were like an abstract bizzare whirlwind. With most people under the compulsory drug influence, it was almost like Killua and Gon were the only two people in the world. So they took that opportunity to play, and see how far they can go unnoticed and avoid suspicion from government workers. Killua and Gon would give each other secret glances when they saw each other during work. At lunch and other times they were together, like if they were assigned to the same detail, they would try to get stolen touches whenever they could. This often lead to competitive glares, resolving to give the last tease before work ended. it was exciting and Gon found it hot, excited for the work day to be over so they could get home together!

.

After work was a bit more tricky to keep their secret love hidden from watchful government eyes. Killua and Gon would walk along together to the street corner where they always separated back before they were off the pill and meet again in Gon’s room, tangling within each other easily like home was in each other’s arms. For dates, they would go out together to public inconspicuous places like the beach or the gardens. However, even there, the two men started to note that other people would give them weird looks if they acted too friendly and affectionate towards each other. It was probably something their drugs couldn’t make sense of and disturbed them, their drugged reality tearing at the seams and start to see not everything was as promised. It made Killua irritated, often complaining to Gon they should mind their own business. So they avoided other people too when they wanted to be more affectionate. They began to find secret escapes onto rooftops, and back corners of park forests plots. The looks and gazes into each other’s eyes were the only world they needed to know was real, and wrapped up in each other at night gave them a grounding warmth when things felt too real or not real enough.

.

And everyday Gon was off the pill, it was like his vision got clearer and he became more aware, noticing more things everywhere. He wasn’t sure how good or bad that was. Being aware of the things happening around him felt better than being a mindless zombie like everyone else most days, but some days, Gon would see some weird and unnerving things he rather wished he had never seen, and wishes he could take some trippies to forget it all. There were issues the people of the city could not concern themselves with on the drugs- forced to see things in a happy light with rose colored drugged glasses on, dismissive. Gon couldn’t figure out the issues exactly, but he preferred control on his thoughts and movements. Walking down the road another morning, Gon saw government officials were roughly dragging someone off the side of the road to the backs of their large cars- not unlike the ones Gon makes in the Facture. They looked much too aware to be on the pill, letting out a cry as those deeply frowning men finished putting the person in and closed the doors. Gon was shaken and scared. Is that what they do to those off the pill? They met Gon’s eyes and Gon looked away, trying to seem dazed. It wasn’t that hard, he felt dazed and confused after seeing that like a blunt blow to his face. Killua tried his best to keep Gon from shaking the rest of the day.

And escaping onto the roofs got too real when the world the two of them held in each other’s eyes would crack long enough for them to notice the green tinted sky and darkened clouds. The disastrous state the streets were in indicated the spiralling control the government actually had on the city. The radios kept repeating what a great city this place was, and the citizens were so impressionable and naive when on the pill, when prompted, they easily believed heaven’s heights was the best city and that everything was fine, the government had it under control. Gon didn’t know what to do with these problems he could know process off the pill. Killua and Gon’s paranoia and anxiety on what was actually going on outside the walls was becoming overwhelming where calling the other person’s name would cause them to jump out of their thoughts. Their feeling of impending disaster at the state of things, like it was a matter of a couple more badly made decisions and society would collapse on itself. They stopped going to the roof tops. 

.

And there seemed to be more government workers at every corner. A few at first, but soon more and more joined the watch, becoming noticeable from how Gon would look around and see a smiling face or frowning sneer. You couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting a government worker. They all tried to look in place, just out on town, but it couldn’t be more obvious that they were watching Gon, waiting for a slip up. Like a lab rat, trapped in his high walled, blue cage, he could only keep running on this wheel to keep up appearances, breathing down Gon’s throat for a chance to jump. At work, Gon’s view on the pain and blood and disfiguration on people grew more vivid to the point where Gon was starting to think he was hallucinating the cuts and gashes on people. The withdrawl from the pill drawing horrendous figures on people. Killua looked as shaken and pale as he is sure Gon himself looks. They probably don’t look very good, blending in and pretending they were still on the pill was becoming impossible, skittery and anxious messes. Gon would notice blood everywhere, there were bloods on bats, cars, walkie talkies as they worked- who were these people around him (his co workers?) and why couldn’t he remember anyone’s name-- no one’s face came into view clearly and--

A figure with a smile that stretched far too widely to be natural filled Gon’s vision as Gon was heading to lunch and Gon jumped, spooked out of his skin. Gon refocused on the figure lightly streaked with dirt, standing patiently as he waited for Gon to come to his senses.

“Mr Freeces...” He said in a weird accent and Gon was chilled at the false delight he spoke with. “Would you please come with me? You have been selected along with some others of your peers to join a new experimental recreational club group. You’ll be given some time off works on certain days to spend all day there. An attempt to de-stress certain citizens, we know you’ll join, won’t you?” He said.

Gon could only stare back.


	7. This neighborhood is going ape shit crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I took like a week to update? But, this chapter is long? and I forgot how much editing this chapter needed so that was why. And I also forgot this was effectively my last chapter? So enjoy!

Chapter 7

_ You’ve had a landscaper and house keeper since you were born, yeah _

_ The starshine always kept you warm. _

_ So why see the world, when you’ve got the beach _

_ Don’t know why see the world, when you got the beach _

_ - _

_ And the water, is exactly what I wanted _

_ It’s everything I thought it would be _

_ (Thought it would be) _

**_But this neighborhood is goin’ ape shit crazy_ **

* * *

 

Killua intertwined his fingers with Gon that night as they laid in bed together. The air was filled with the sounds of their breathing and the propaganda distantly playing in the streets and on a low volume in the bedroom. Occasional light travelled across the room as government jeeps passed, momentarily lighting their thoughtful but contrlled expressions as not to give away what they were thinking. Their nights together have been getting more and more quiet, with heavier tones in the air but not being addressed.

“...They talked to you too, didn’t they…?” Killua asked quietly as not to startle Gon. Gon nodded slowly after a beat.

“Yes… What do you think?”

“I’m not sure. I heard they invited a couple others from the Facture too.” Killua said. “I just don’t think it’s a coincidence that they invited us both through ‘random selection’ when we’re both off the pill. I don’t want to act too suspicious in case it really was random, and roll with the punches...” Killua paused, letting his tongue roll around his mouth a moment as he pondered on the whole situation. “But it seems likely they want to keep a closer eye on us.”

Gon nodded, he had a similar thought process and suspected that was the overall goal. Gon rolled over to wrap his arms around Killua’s waist and tangle his legs with Killua’s. The scratchy feeling between their unshaven legs felt a little nice.

“What group are you in?” Gon asked. “Unless there’s just one group to test this out…?”

“I think it’s one big group right now… if they separate the group, it would be later.” Killua had red cheeks looking down at the space between them as he rubbed his legs with Gon too.

Gon nodded.

Everything felt way too real in the recent days. He felt the world was falling heavy on his senses and that he would soon buckle under the weight. The muted star light that fell through their curtains was the only thing that really made him feel calm after the events of every day.

Gon had also felt he gained more awareness of time and it stressed him out as the days that pass with nearly nothing happening. Beforehand, nothing else mattered except finding new ways to get high and feel good while feeling satisfied and fulfilled for contributing to society.

Now, it’s like everyone was just waiting to… to what? Nothing meant anything in these walls, with no direction but what the government tells everyone. No ambition is allowed under the drug and no one can pursue a passion without being suffocated by the control of what the government says. Not to mention it seemed like society was going to collapse, and nothing they were doing was actually helping.

But no one would know that except those off the pill, and the government wouldn’t let anyone off it. But in a sense, it left everyone in a sense of ignorant bliss. But still overall, Gon would prefer control over his own mind to determine his own course of action and he knows Killua feels the same. No matter what happens in the group, they couldn’t allow themselves to get back on the pill and under the control of the government. 

But at least Gon can always look forward to the decompressing feeling of laying in bed next to Killua and the blue starlight light peering through his semi-opaque curtains. The surreal feeling when a government car hums by, throwing lights and shape past their curtain felt like intimate moments only shared by him and Killua into the silent night.

Sometimes Gon thinks he thinks too much. He’ll try not to and just feel and be in the moment when he’s with Killua.

* * *

 

Sterile smells hit Gon nose and he feels like he is under the spotlight even though he was within the group of people. The government man with the wider-than-normal smile was in front of the multitude of the citizens they summoned for this new government issue recreational group. Gon didn’t know for sure but it felt like this guy’s eyes never left Gon, smiling creepily, like he was keeping survey on Gon.

Gon tried not to look to his left where Killua was standing in his nicely pressed jumper some ways away. Killua stressed not to look suspicious while they were there, that meant not being more aware than usual of others around them. If they look at you, stare back.

They found it easier to pass as under the pill when they drank two cups of water. The drugged effects were laced in the water supply, probably causing the blue look. Without completely succumbing under the effects and still having a majority of control but if they feel like they need help to be unsuspicious, two cups of water would last for 3 hours. Gon didn’t take the glasses of water before going to the group, he wanted all of his senses at their top capacity to take in the first day of group. It was important to orient himself on what happens and how this would go if he needed to react in the spur of the moment.

Those selected for group were to report to a brand new building on the other side of town that didn’t look that brand new based off the chipping paint job, sand gathering at the corner of the windows, and dirt-worn sides. But the inside looked like a brand new space.

Plastic palm trees and shrubs placed in positions like a grade A-- maybe C-- play production set. The walls and ceilings were painted like the blue sky with clouds, similar to the high walls surrounding the city, and bright fluorescent lights cast everyone in a harsh light. Or maybe the lights looked harsh while off the pill, but maybe if you were on the pill, this looked great and sunny- all dulled down and blurry in your good mood. The sides of the rooms and halls were lined with pristine white sand and elevator music bled from the walls like the atmosphere for ambiance. It was relaxing but sort of incessant. The temperature was also warm, on the brink of being suffocatingly so.

All in all, the vibe was a vacation beach aesthetic but inside a building, spic and span and ready for this recreational club.

“Welcome.” The man said, his bright eyes on Gon. Gon reached and tugged on his collar, not liking the cold sweat that broke out on the back of his neck. “This is a new club for you all to experience as our focus group. We aim to see how you all enjoy this Blue Waters group, then depending on how you all take it, the city can go on and promote it to the other good citizens of Heaven Heights.”

Was some nodding appropriate? Blank staring? Gon just settled for impassive onlooking. The man’s eyes finally left Gon to look at some of the others. He went on to explain to everyone the events and options available to them. One of the options would be group talking sessions, as talking things out helps alleviate stress from the work day. That worried Gon, because if his talks somehow indicated something someone on the pill shouldn’t notice, he would have outed himself so casually.

But the other options almost sounded nice, if it weren’t for the weight of the world on Gon’s shoulders and the stress from hiding himself in plain sight. They had pool/hot tub time, gardening, yoga, board games, socialite drinking bars, movie screenings, and recreational cooking. The group of citizens cautiously familiarize themselves with the building and which rooms held which activities and when, like newly captured animals released into their new habitat display.

Everyone needed to learn of each other as well. As far as Gon could tell, Gon didn’t know anyone here, a pretty even and random collection of citizens from different parts of town and the workforce. The only other person he _ really _ knows is Killua. And it went to show that citizens didn’t really interact with others in the city, it was mostly workforce interactions or chance encounters in town, which were bound to be forgotten after a good night’s sleep with the pill swallowed.

After the first week of being in the facility, Gon decided he had little other choice but to play their game if he wanted to pretend like he was still under their control. Downing a couple glasses of water before going to Blue Waters with Killua, Gon decided to humor a couple of the group talk sessions in his schedule, along with hot tub times, and painting. He wouldn’t chance the bar drinking, having no idea what concoction of drugs were in there to bring the citizens under blissful obedience.

Those turned out to be bad choices, but Gon doubted there were any good ones or very little right choices in this nightmare reality.

In the hot tub, the effects of the pill were in the water, vaporizing into the air and into the lungs. Gon quickly entered a loopy, feel good state almost without his knowledge. Like a pot slowly warming up and boiling the frog alive, Gon only realized it when the clouds on the walls actually started to look like they were flying by like a soft afternoon.

During the painting lesson, Gon tried to focus above the background music that was laced with the subliminal message, but his head never failed to become fuzzy when the speaker announced that ‘ _ The water’s blue, the food is great, its always sunny in Heaven Heights and there’s no place better!’ _ Gon didn’t know why but those phrases but him through something where he couldn’t think properly. And the painting instructor, a cute lady with a nice smile, would give them instructions on painting, and not forgetting to take the pill. Gon’s sure the messages made him more impressionable and more likely to listen to instructions, so he had to focus on not listening mindlessly to the words. The group sessions were no better and probably the worst.

“Name one thing that’s happened this week that made you happy.”

On group day, they sit around in a circle, all facing each other and no one for Gon to hide behind and assimilate with like camouflage. He was out in the open for examination. He touched at his collar and tugged to get some fresh cool air down his clammy chest.

“I saw a puppy this morning by the subway.” Someone answer half dreamily. A beat too slow like he was still asleep.

At least Killua was in the group with him. But it almost made it worse. Each eye contact made sent shivers down his spine. And then a nervous glance to the group director,  _ did they notice? _ Killua would almost make faces at Gon, that sent him messages-  _ stop staring, are you ok?, dont mention that, 5 more minutes... _

“Very nice. How about you, Gon?” All eyes turned to him.

And then there is this part, this part of the group sessions that felt like they were quizzing him. Daring him to say the wrong thing. They rarely call on anyone else. Not like anyone would notice or careif they did, apart from Killua.

“I saw a puppy by the subway.” Gon said with careful dream like tone.

“Ah, someone already said that.” The woman with a smiley face mask on said to Gon.

“Oh. Haha, it just made me happy.” Gon said, sticking his tongue out sheepishly.

“Please try to think of something else.”

And Gon couldn’t even stop going to group. There was nothing wrong with group. If you were still on the pill. The worst part was closing remarks.

“And remember, there is no place for any citizen that does not contribute to society. Just as it is very necessary for a man to be with a _ woman _ as to make babies and contribute to society, go forth and work hard at your jobs with refreshed vigor and contribute to society!” She said, clapping her hands together with practiced cheer.

Gon could never help looking at Killua, feeling very trouble and a knot at the bottom of his stomach.

This was getting dangerous.

\---***---

“What do you think?” Killua asked, half dressed as he longued on the edge of Gon’s bed. They had started enjoying each other’s presence with touches and kisses that Sunday evening but soon they could sense that neither of them were really in the mood to do much but a quick make out.

Gon hummed quietly and wanted to play dumb a little. As if he didn’t know everything was crumbling around them.

“Think of what…?” Gon asked. Killua let out a little scoff and Gon wanted to reach out and touch him.

“The paradise meetings. It’s terrible there. Everything we eat and drink from there is drugged, so even when we don’t take the pill, they can slowly acclimate us back to it. Not to mention the group. If this government group is fished together because they think we’re not taking the pill then we can be certain they are talking to us directly wen they say certain things. Like how we shouldn’t be dating other men, they know we have our eyes on each other, and they can step in at any time to keep what they consider the natural order. So, Gon.” Killua said, turning to him now that he’s made clear what he means. “What do you think?”

Gon sighed and rolled over so that he could take Killua’s hand.

“Do you have fun… when we’re together?” Gon asked Killua quietly. Killua frowned but nodded.

“Of course I do, idiot. I had fun with you even before I knew I…” He cut himself off and Gon could see in the pale moonlight slitting through his closed blinds that his cheeks colored. “I knew I had fun with you even before I was off the pill. It was just inhibiting me from becoming super involved with you.” Killua said. Gon smiled happily despite himself.

“I have a lot of fun with you. And would never want to be apart from you. I would never let them take you from me. Killua… I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the government takes people off the street if they think they are beyond help or being put back on the pill. And the group only confirms it, they’re telling us to shape up with this rehabilitation group or they’ll take matters into their own hands. It’s getting too dangerous for us here if we want to be together. And there is something seriously wrong with this whole place. The government is hiding something from us, they want to convince us they have things under control but things are going down quick. But if we can escape, we don’t have to worry about it. I just want to stay with you.” Gon said. Killua smiled and leaned over to kiss Gon. Killua settled into the sheets next to Gon more comfortably.

“We should play more into actually being reformed. But in the meantime I think it’s about time to see what the government hides behind these walls.” Gon said. Killua nodded.

“We’ll need things they don’t just sell on the street, Gon.”Killua said, running a hand through Gon’s spikes.

“Well, we’ll work it out. Collect things you think is useful from work how you can, I’ve already been grabbing some things as well when I dispose of my pills, and we can talk every night on how these can help us with a proper plan.” Gon said to Killua. Killua nodded, taking it all in.

“Ok…” Killlua whispered. He could understand what Gon was saying.

This place wasn’t safe for them anymore so it was time to leave.

As the next week continued, Gon and Killua worked to find useful items from the Facture during work to sneak and steal away to make an escape plan. They would need weapons for defense in case they were pursued, things to help dismantle obstacles that were in their path, and maybe even some way to leave in those cars for a faster escape. They worked in the car manufacturing plant, it couldn’t be that hard, right? Gon found it especially easier to find what they would need when he is searching the cars during savenging duty. 

_ A vest and bats and pipes…  _ Gon counts off in his head,  But what strikes him the most is the dirt, the different kinds, the mud and the consistency… these cars must go outside. These aren’t the dirts that they find inside the city. That means there’s a way out of these walls! They can escape for sure somehow. If the cars go in and out, they will find a way in and out, the best way would be through the way these cars do.

At the end of the day, Killua climbs into Gon window and they review what they got that day and how it fits into their plan.

“We can’t possibly have identical contents of our bags.” Killua said, tossing his backpack next to Gon, the contents making a dull noise being smacked against each other. “We could never scavange enough things to do that.” Killua took a couple gulps of water, the dulling effects wanted by Killua when he was especially stressed by the days effects. Gon usually doesn’t approve but knows it won’t be a problem when they leave.

“But what if we get separated? I can’t give you something I have if I’m not next to you.” Gon said, crouching by the bag and opening it to show off the contents of both bags.

“Then let’s not get caught.” Killua said, crouching by Gon and taking his hand. Gon smiled. What they had right now was two pipes for each of them and various small items that could help them in a varying amount of situations, like screwdrivers, walkie talkies, small batteries, strips of clothes, and one mud splattered ID.

The best thing they found was one day while Killua was doing inventory. Sometimes, Killua is surprised by how much the government lets the people handle so openly, but other days, Killua wants to smack himself for not noticing sooner and realized just how clutched the government was on depending on the people to take the pill and not notice important things laying around… like the layout of the city map. Killua grabbed it, tucking it away as discreetly as he could. 

Gon will be so excited to see this later!

But as quickly as their plans for escaping were coming along during the week, their time at the recreational group escalating quickly and crazily.

“As a gift from the institution to Blue Waters, and as a field trip of sorts to those who have not been there yet, we all have an appointment at Emerald Hills this Friday!” The group leader said, her unnaturally happy face strangely eerie; perfectly in place every group day. Gon tensed. Emerald Hills? Since he stopped taking the pill, he’s had some memories fade in and out, unsure what were pill and Blue Water induced illusions and what were memories, but Emerald Hills…

That was like the honeymoon spot to take your lover… to make babies. Even though they haven’t really seen babies around here. But Gon knows one thing’s for sure, no one’s ever really went with another guy. Gon would love to take Killua into Emerald Hills since he heard the mood and setting was romantic, the best get away. But Gon will settle for the love atmosphere in his own home with Killua under or on top of him as to avoid suspicion from the government.

But if they’re going during Blue Waters… they’re likely not there just to look…

“We encourage sexual activity here in Heaven Heights! It’s one of the best mind relaxer and mood boosters in the city! And with someone from group, what better to strengthen your bond? You can pick any opposite sex here during the week for Friday when we go.” She said.

When Killua and Gon went home, they looked at each other with the same thought in mind.

“We’re leaving before Friday.”

With the map, they were able to easily find the routes the cars take in and out of the city and when. If they go at dusk, they can walk along the subway tracks undetected, closer to the wall. If needed, they can detour to the closest sewer entrances, which they all marked along the way on the map. They can slip out of the gates for the cars before they close completely for the night. Packed with their bags, and with the tall city walls as a reference point, they can begin leaving and exploring whatever is outside the walls, scouting, and making their own way out in the… whatever is out there. They could make their own homes between palm trees, and find water eventually, maybe wild berries or animals that milk ...? Killua and Gon would daydream on how life would be like for them out there at night as their plan was finalized… they just need to wait for the count down day.

But group was annoying. For an hour a day, two members, of the opposite sex of course, would be put in little closet sized rooms and have small conversations for 5-10 minutes. Afterwards, they would switch to another member from the Blue Waters group. This was to try and help members find someone you would like to bed in Emerald Hills for the night.

It was nearly unbearable and it made Gon’s skin crawl to think he would have to mindlessly bed someone who barely meant anything to him for… ‘recreational’ time. But then again, that’s basically what everyone did. There weren’t couples or married people around town.

The day before they were supposed to leave, Killua kissed Gon and bid him goodnight, going to his own room by going through the window. They were both jittery and excited to leave the next day at dusk after group. It was a simple plan to walk to the subway together and follow their escape route.

\---***---

Killua’s gotten better at using the low volume of the radio to lull him to sleep like white noise. The night is never completely quiet between the night shifts of government vehicles driving by and the street speakers. Killua rolled over, putting his face in the pillow and squinted sleepily in confusion. What time was it? Why was he awake right now? He usually stays asleep the whole night until morning, why was he awake now? Whatever, he rolled over again and closed his eyes to get some more rest.

His eyes pop open, stomach dropping as he realized it was quiet in the room. Too quiet. He sat up, straining his eyes and heart pounding. No, the radio was off. Like completely off.

“Click, click, click…” Killua quietly cursed under his breath as he climbed out of bed. Whatever was going on didn’t bode well in Killua’s mind. He made one move to his escape bag by his window and then there are harsh knocks on the door.

“Open this up, right now!” Loud demands cried through the material of the door. 

“Great emerald hills.” Killua hissed, moving faster. He snatched up the bag and pressed the window open as the knocking persisted in strength and speed. The knocking stopped for a minute before there was a loud bang and Killua knew that was the sound of his door frame being kicked in. Killua squeaked, hopping on one leg as he got out the window. He just had to get to Gon’s room. No thinking, just move. 

Killua pushed Gon’s window open just as the men barrelled into Killua’s room and saw the empty bed. Killua flopped into Gon’s room just as they looked over and saw the open window. “Crispy morning-- Gon, get up!” Killua hissed, shaking Gon awake. They only had seconds before they were overtaken by the men’s pace. They were leaving Killua’s apartment the way they came in and was on their way to Gon’s front door. Gon woke with a start from Killua’s abrupt shaking. Gon found Killua’s eyes in the dark and his innate senses fill him in on the situation and he jumps out of bed before Killua even said anything. He takes Killua’s hand and a sweeping hand goes under his bed to grab his prepared pack, booking it to their backroom window. The front door wasn’t an option anymore. They thought they had until Friday at least, given the chance of the doubt to shape up then. They must have been too obvious, or accidentally gave something away...They weren’t ready but new plans had to be formed. They had to make their getaway now.

They exit the side of Gon’s house just as the government men barge into Gon’s house from the front door, the same as Killua. They give the house a quick searching sweep before the government worker standing tall and with a large frown whipped out his walkie talkie.

“Unit 405 is empty, get to the streets!” 

Killua and Gon darted into the back streets. These streets were not nearly as lit up as the main streets, but that worked to their advantage as they kept away from the searching lights on top of the government vehicles patrolling the streets. The two of them stop at the first sewer grate they had marked on their map, and Gon hefts it up with the dexterity and deft of a skilled worker running off adrenaline.

“Go.” He hisses out to Killua with strain as Killua drops in. Lights of flashlights hit Gon’s face from down the alleyway as Killua’s head clears the threshold and Gon leaps in next, barely pulling the grate back in place. Gon’s boots splashed in the waste water and he barely let Killua groan in disgust before grabbing his hands and running them along the side of the stream. They could hear the rush and thrum of the government men on the street above them. Killua looked up at the sound, amazed and unnerved at the manpower the city was flexing on them at the moment. He didn’t even want to know what they would do to them if they got caught now that they’ve caused this whole mess. They must be waking the whole city. It didn’t matter to the two men though, that only reflected poorly on these government workers, and Killua and Gon weren’t returning.

They ran, watching their footing with the light in Gon’s hand that he pulled from his bookbag. They studied the map well enough to know how far they need to go until they reach the wall. They knew that their original plan was to leave through the open car gate, but now that it was night time, and the government knew they were coming, Gon knew that wasn’t an option anymore. But they couldn’t think about that, they just had to focus on what was happening right now. They soon heard government boots stomping in the sewer tunnels ahead of them, lights bouncing off the waste water and they stopped their running.

“Gon…!” Killua whispered, pulling him off into a branching tunnel to a ladder up and out of the sewers. Gon had lost track of where they were in the sewers in relation to what they marked on the map, but Killua seemed to have been doing that for them and was confidently leading them out. When Killua helped Gon out the sewers, he turned and went further down the alleyway to take a left, en route to their planned destination, both of them backlit by unseeing search lights that drove by. Before they could continue much further, a voice hissed to them in the darkness.

“This way…!” Both of them jumped, and whipped around, pulling their weapons of choice out their bag quickly, a bat for Gon and a short pipe for Killua. But then Gon’s eyes lit up with recognition. The man did not even flinch at the promise of pain imposed by the weapons directed at him. His eyes darted back and forth along the streets around them, but when he could meet Gon’s eyes, it was one filled with clarity, a focus that caused government men to pull them off the streets… who looked only  _ a little _ off their rocker.

“Um…?” Killua voiced, concerned. He glanced at Gon as the man urged them to follow with waving hands. Gon frowned as he looked at them. He could see in the glint in his eyes, they were off the pill, an alley.

“Let’s go, Killua.” Gon said, taking Killua’s hand and pushing forward to follow the man that began moving when Gon did. Killua pressed his lips together, not really trusting him, but he trusted Gon. And he would follow him anywhere. So he put his weapon away and watched his footing. The man lead them through even more crowded backstreets, where people piled their trash. Gon and Killua did their best to keep up with the man who was mousing through boxes and tight squeezes around buildings. Killua was mostly concerned because they were going the opposite direction of their original destination. Maybe that was a good thing.They had no plan for when they got there afterall.

The alley man led them around and over government men looking for them, pausing at junctures to make sure the coast was clear, and hiding them behind large dumpsters or boxes if they came too close to being discovered. Killua and Gon kept their eyes on the looming wall as they moved, barely able to be made out in the darkness of night but visible still. They were getting closer. Finally, they made it to a break in the buildings where the only thing left in front of them was the wall... 

He pointed them to a loose storm drain grate that was embedded into the wall. The last barrier keeping them in. It would surely lead them out as drains would leave the city, and a better bet on escape then their original plan. But it was across the wide open street, Killua and Gon would be spotted quickly. Gon turned to Killua, wanting to say more to him, but not knowing what to say at all…. But he didn’t have to. When Gon met Killua’s eyes, Killua nodded back. They had each other’s backs. They knew this and was ready for whatever would happen. They turned to the person who helped them.

“Thank you, so much. We have no idea why you decided to save us, but we could never have made it here without you.” Gon said earnestly. Killua nodded in agreement. But the alley man would barely meet their eyes, just as when they first ran into him, just looking around skittishly.

“There is no time for thanks, just move and escape. Don’t believe the lies the government says, they are stuck in old ways, you can make a better future for yourself, and then hopefully, all of the world. There is more to the world than the beach, you just have to find it for yourself.” He rambled and Killua grimaced. What sort of conspiracy nonsense was he babbling about? It didn’t matter, they were escaping, and he was right about one thing. They had no time. Gon took the man’s hand to shake but at the same time, a stark white gloved hand grabbed him by the shoulder and the mouth, and Gon and Killua cried out.

“No!” Gon shouted and redoubled his grip, pulling to get the man away.

“Gon!” Killua cried, wrapping his arms around Gon’s waist and pulling to help. They tried to get him away but then the government worker blew his whistle and they knew more was on the way.

The crazy ally urged them to go and leave him behind with his shaking eyes and Gon furrowed his brows unwillingly. Killua let out a strangled cry as he knew they had to move  _ now _ , pulling on Gon’s arm to get him to let go. Killua just got Gon away right before the government man was able to swipe his arm out and get purchase on Gon to keep him in place too. 

Gon grunted frustratedly at the whole unfairness of it all, but he didn’t waste a single movement. They sprinted as fast as their legs would take them to the storm drain and Gon leveraged his foot against the wall, his hands gripped the space between the metal and  _ pulled _ . It gave way with enough space to squeeze through.

“Killua, go through.” Gon gritted through his teeth and Killua turned around from where he was standing watch, car lights zooming at them with the intent to incapacitate. Killua squeezed through the opening, yanking his bag through. Gon turned around, keeping the gate open with his foot and his back to the wall, glaring the incoming cars down as he backed into the opening. His arm and sides got scratched by the broken edge of the grate but he pushed through to exit. Gon panted and sighed as he knew… they did it… they escaped! Gon let out a cry as a couple of arms stuck their hands through the metal, trying to reach for them. Gon scrambled back on all fours.

“Gon, over here!” Killua said, waving over at him. Gon spotted a large box to their side and pushed it to block the way of the workers. He looked back to see Killua climbing up some boxes and scrap metal up to an opening way above them, blocked by a flimsy grate. They must be  _ in the wall _ . The wall turned out to be a thick wall filled with debris and excess material, or maybe some kind of storage. But either way, they can use these mountains of random boxes and frames to get to the promise of a new life. Gon climbed after Killua and caught up.

They reached the top and could feel waves of warm wind hit their face from the opening. They looked at each other one more time with light in their eyes. They actually did it. They’ll start a new life together. They both placed their hands on the grate opening and  _ pushed as one _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We Happy Few was a big guide for this last chapter, you guys should try checking it out, or at least the trailer, its a pretty cool concept of a game!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGRHLmBNO_w
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp0M5Y6JMbQ


	8. The waters exactly as I wanted it to be

Chapter 8

_ You’ve had a landscaper and a housekeeper since you were born. _

_ The starshine always kept you warm. _

**_So why see the world, When you’ve got the beach?_ **

_ Don’t know why see the world, when you’ve got the beach. _

**_The Sweet Life_ **

* * *

 

_ [A MEMORY]: _

_ Gon looked out over the landscape from the top of the wall, warm dusty and humid air buffeted through his hair at spontaneous angles as dawn broke. At this height, it gave the optimal survey of the state of the world. _

_ The sky was tinted green, darkening off in the horizon for as far as Gon and Killua could see, like an ominous cover over the earth everyday. The earth split with dryness, larger and deeper cracks visible every couple miles, not a sign of green seen by the two of them as they looked around. _

_ Killua stood to his full height next to Gon, squeezing his hand. Gon gave one back and glanced over at him, making sure he was ok. Killua’s eyes were still glued on the scene before them. _

_ Besides the horrible state the environment was in, they could see structures of buildings and house complexes that probably used to have more stability and organization to them, but now whatever run down structures was left dotted the landscape at random clusters around the land. They could see there were larger and taller buildings… skyscrapers off in the distance, barely visible through distant fog tinted a light brown. Alongside the skyscrapers, Gon could swear he could see another structure off the distance that looked like it was nothing but… high walls… Were there more cities like this out there? _

_ Killua pointed down, calling Gon’s attention to the dirt roads weaving systematically through the buildings and through the deteriorated earth. Even now, in this early morning, they could see little dirt clouds of government jeep driving along the dark roads. _

_ Gon let out a small huff of air… His mind spun and he had no idea what to think after seeing all this.The state of the world outside the walls was nothing like they thought it would be. Killua and Gon imaged living life on their own, the wilderness of beaches and blue waters, but the disillusions of the state of things went further than anything they thought the government was hiding from everyone. The government effectively made this little pocket of life to keep everyone alive in these barren environments.. The government wasn’t trying to keep them in, they were trying to keep this all  _ out.  _ Gon still didn’t know what the government was doing, driving these cars around, but he couldn’t think about this right now. He could barely process what was in front of him and any high he had left from the drugs was effectively broken, the reality of life crashing down his fragile perceptions of a good life. _

_ They turned around, almost at the same time, as their similar line of thoughts brought about the same curiosity. Looking over the city they just escaped, the jarring difference of the pristine and carefully crafted paradise was an obvious choice when the world looked like this.It was a bubble to escape to and close your eyes in blissful ignorance from the ruined earth, where there wasn’t and never will be another perfect paradise. _

_ The headlights of the government jeeps swept over the city as they retreated from their failed attempt to keep the two inside, and the two men can see there was at least one jeep on every street in the grid of the city. They had the whole place on lockdown. They were lucky to escape but… _

_ Killua turned his blue eyes to Gon’s brown ones, and it was still the only thing that kept him calm, the last familiarity and sense of normalcy Gon’s ever known. The view of the blue sky in his partner’s eyes. The question in them were obvious. _

_ Did they want to go back? _

_ It was obvious what was out here was probably not livable, and nothing like they thought. The cities really were made to make sure everyone stayed alive… they might just be running away from the only key to survival… but they would never be happy there. _

_ “Gon…” Killua said. He pressed his lips together and Gon looked back out to the ruined landscape. “We can still go back….” He whispered. Gon turned back to Killua. _

_ “I meant what I said before… I would do anything to be with you Killua. If being with you means losing my life out here… well, there’s no question.” Gon said, bringing Killua’s hand up to his lips and kissing it. Killua blushed and he turned. _

_ “Don’t be so embarrassing…!” He cried. Gon smiled and squeezed his hand again. Whatever was out there… _

_ “We’ll do it together…” Gon said. Killua nodded. They turned and took one last look at the world and then down to the ground. They both stood upright and jumped, the ground approaching them quickly as they plummeted to the ground-- _

Gon woke up with a start, then coughed, his lungs still needing to grow accustomed to the polluted air around them. He’s been having those memory dreams more often than not of when they finally left the city a couple weeks ago. Killua woke from his light and fitful sleep to lean over and fuss over Gon.

“Are you ok?” Killua asked, cupping Gon’s face as his coughing fit subsided.

“Yea, I’m ok..” Gon wheezed and closed his eyes again.

“I’ll get you some water.” Killua said with a frown.

“You know that the nearest source of water is 15 minutes away. I might as well go with you. I don’t need water, I’m ok.” Gon said, clearing his throat. “We should rest more.” He said. He knows Killua has trouble sleeping.

“Mh…” Killua hummed. “Ok…” He laid, pulling Gon’s head to lay on his chest. Gon looked around the small decryptid house that they claimed as their own, one of the few housings still standing in the remainder of a neighborhood. The wallpaper was peeling, the floorboards creaked and was cracked severely in places, and the most intact room they were staying in might have been an old child’s room. But it was theirs, they were together, and the blue in Killua’s eyes were the only blue waters Gon need to feel in paradise. Gon closed his eyes to sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be fair, I wrote this whole thing without ever even watching a play through of ‘We Happy Few.’ If I did, this story would be a little different. It’s not what I wanted it to be, but I am pretty happy with what I came out with, that I made anything at all. Maybe my second story continuation will be a little better on being what I wanted this story to convey, but anyways, thanks for reading!


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